


Not So Forceful

by thehatpotato



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And Wants To Turn Him Light, But She's Stubborn, Canon Universe, Captivity, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Injury, Kissing, Kylo Ren Has No Chill, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Obsessive Kylo Ren, Protective Kylo Ren, Sexual Tension, Showers, The Force Ships It, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Wants To Turn Rey Dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24122071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehatpotato/pseuds/thehatpotato
Summary: The Force connects Kylo Ren and Rey while Rey is in a compromising position...Somewhere in the midst of TLJ."You know I could find you if I really wanted to," he murmured in that painfully deep voice of his. He slowly but surely began to walk closer to the girl wrapped in nothing but a towel.Rey highly doubted this statement, but at the same time, she did not want to find out. "You will not harm Luke," she stated as smoothly as she could. She began subconsciously moving backwards, in line with his steady strides towards her."And what if it's not Luke I want?"
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 88
Kudos: 201





	1. Shower

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This story takes place sometime in Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Also, this story was originally posted to fanfiction.net.  
> I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

The Force was supposed to be the equilibrium of the universe; the peace that held everything together. That was what Master Luke had told her anyway. However, the more Rey trained, the less peaceful she seemed to feel. She felt like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. She had been thrown into this life so quickly and now that she was here, she couldn't help but have a hard time keeping up. Closing her eyes, Rey tried once more at the job before her. All she needed to do was to move one pebble. She had done much more powerful things before, but only in desperate situations. Without an extreme threat to back the risk of her failure, Rey seemed to have no motivation.

She couldn't concentrate. Her muscles ached from constant exercise followed by sitting uncomfortably for hours at a time. Even her brain hurt. Everyday, she trained by hitting a tree with her staff over and over again until her mind seemed completely empty. What was the point anymore? Everything was overworked; overdone. Her eyes flew open and stared daggers at the innocent pebble. It flew away and hit a larger rock, practically disintegrating in the process. She stood up, slightly satisfied, and walked stiffly back to the village for dinner.

Rey sat eating her measly piece of bread. Not much, and yet it was all she wanted. She was used to her life now. Alone with no one to talk to except Luke Skywalker. She was grateful for the chance to be trained and learn from such a great teacher, but she couldn't help but miss her previous adventures. She sat facing the ocean, and wondered how long it would be until she would be torn away from this life. She knew that there would come a time when she would feel stupid for wanting adventure. Adventure for her could only mean danger. But maybe danger was better than wasting her life away, doing nothing. She finished dinner and returned to her small, stone house.

Dirt and dust from the day's training clung onto her skin and proved her in desperate need of a shower. Her hair fell carelessly around her shoulders as she removed it from it's tight buns. She felt sluggish as she entered the small shower. The warm water fell over her tired body, causing her worn muscles to sink her into a sitting position. She took a washcloth and carefully began removing the day's work from her skin. As always, she took her time in the shower, knowing it was the most relaxed she would feel during her long days. She put her head back and just let the water run over her.

Her head started to hurt. No. Not hurt. But her head started to feel… strange. She brushed it off and continued her current task of trying to remove a thick coat of mud from her fingernails. But there it was again. A constant throbbing in her mind. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples in a desperate attempt to make it go away. That's when she felt it. Felt _him_. Her eyes sprang open and there he was. The person she wanted to see least in the world right now. Kylo Ren. Watching her. Shower.

With a shout, she tried desperately to cover herself with anything, but found nothing. She jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her figure as quickly as she could. She wanted this to be over. She needed this to have not just happened. She looked away from the perpetrator. She couldn't blame him of course. This happened frequently and neither had any control over it. But why did it have to happen right that second. Finally, she built up the courage to look back at him. To her surprise and disgust, he sat there with a smug smirk on his face. How dare he?

"H-how long have you been there?" Rey asked, dreading the answer.

Kylo stood there motionless. He could not believe what he had just seen. This strong, stubborn, and far too modest girl, who just so happened to be connected to him through the Force, had just been bathing in front of him. Granted, it had not been intentional, but all the same, the dark Jedi felt an extreme rush just from being able to witness it.

The lack of response from the man scared Rey. What if he had been there the whole time, silently watching her.

"Long enough," he said, clearly taunting the girl with his poor excuse for an answer. "Where are you?" he asked, circumventing the much more pressing topic at hand.

How stupid was he? Did he really think that she would give him her location just like that. When she knew he was trying to kill Luke? And who knows what he would do to her.

Rey sneered at the man and declared simply, "My bathroom."

Her lack of obedience always angered Kylo. He was not sure what he was expecting, but her sheer disrespect toward him made him mad beyond belief. Was it too much to want this lowly scavenger girl to honor him?

"You know I could find you if I really wanted to." he murmured in that painfully deep voice of his. He slowly but surely began to walk closer to the girl wrapped in nothing but a towel.

Rey highly doubted this statement, but at the same time, she did not want to find out. "You will not harm Luke," she stated as smoothly as she could. She began subconsciously moving backwards, in line with his steady strides towards her.

"And what if it's not Luke I want?" he asked, nearing her.

Her eyes widened and she could not contain the shudder that escaped with her breath. What was it about that voice that made her feel like that? His dark hair encircled his face as he continued his pursuit, but she backed up at the same rate, fear starting to rise in her.

Kylo sensed this fear and smirked. Despite the mask of bravery that she tried to constantly put on, he knew that her innocence always overcame it. He felt a want rise in him. He watched the girl intently, gently trying to read her thoughts.

Rey pushed back the best she could, but the vulnerable position she was in made it hard. Nervous about what he might do next, Rey tried to back up faster. Unfortunately for Rey, her back hit the wall of her bathroom and in seconds, Kylo Ren was directly in front of her, breathing deeply.

Kylo's hands shot immediately to the girl's arms, pinning her down against the wall. Her sharp intake of breath only made him more sure of his actions. He felt lust build up inside of him as he remembered the scene he had watched unfold only minutes before. And here she was, that same girl, pinned against her own wall, and trembling from nerves that he gave her. Kylo hated her nerves. He wanted her to trust him; to open up to him willingly.

Rey turned her head to the side, trying to put as much distance as possible between the two of them. "Stop," she said, and though she had intended for her voice to come out strong, it instead was barely a squeak.

A flash of concern seemed to flood his dark eyes and he let go of her arms that he had been holding a bit too tightly. Her head snapped back to look at him, surprised by the effect her plea had on him. Even though he had released his grip, he held his ground, mere inches away from her towel covered body. Her hands were now free to fight him, but no movement came. His eyes flashed back to their curious and dominating stare that they always seemed to hold when she was around.

Rey had never felt so small. She had known he was big, but it was not until he had her cornered that she realized just how massive he was. She had to crane her neck upwards just to look at him. He looked to be practically eight inches taller than her. She tried desperately to calm her expression, but she could tell it wasn't working. She couldn't help but observe this man in front of her. His chest, covered with thick black fabric, rose and fell with every breath. His raven colored hair nearly grazed her forehead. Something inside of her screamed at her to fight him, but no attempt actually made it to her limbs. Instead, her sight focused on the scar running across his face and wished that she hadn't given it to him.

The air between them was intoxicating. Their heavy breathing created an electric warmth between them. It seemed as though they had been standing there for hours, but neither one moved a muscle. They both just stared. Kylo Ren gazed hard at the girl before him - so beautiful, yet so tough. Her power was only growing as time went by, and he longed to help her grow to her full potential. Yet, something told him that she would never change. She was too full of light.

The heat radiating from their bodies was nearly stifling when Rey finally broke the trance of their silence. She looked deep into his eyes, "Ben."

That was all he needed. He leaned into her and kissed her firmly on the lips. Rey's whimper of confusion lasted only a second before she felt herself kissing him back. What was she doing? She felt his hands brace themselves on the wall behind her, surrounding her body. Their lips fervently collided together as if the fate of the world depended on it. His hands quickly left the wall, only to engulf her slim frame further. Their kiss deepened and became hungry as their bodies pressed together. Her hands shot into his hair and pulled him down to her.

His hands, which seemed to be constantly moving, made their way up her arms, causing her to shiver with goosebumps as he went. One landed on her shoulder, while the other made its way up the side of her face to cup her cheek, softly caressing it with his thumb. Their lips crashed together, practically imitating the fight that they so often found themselves in. The intensity of their embrace filled Rey in ways she had never known possible. She was drunk on pure passion. She was drunk on _him_.

Kylo's hand left her shoulder and began to move lower. Even in her mind's muddled state, she knew what was happening. Right as he pulled her towel away from her helpless body, she slapped him hard across his face. When she looked back to him, he was gone. He had returned back to the cold First Order base, light-years away. He had left her, breathless and flushed, slumped against the wall, steeping in regret.


	2. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's another chapter because I don't have any self control :P Enjoy!!

"Damn it!" Kylo Ren screamed as he punched the wall beside him. The same wall that Rey had seemed to be on just seconds before. His hand shot out to his lightsaber on a nightstand nearby and willed it to come to him. Before he could think about what he was doing, he had imprinted a large X on that cursed wall.

His face still stung and his anger only grew. How _dare_ she? She deserved nothing. She _was_ nothing. And yet, she, a lowly scavenger, had just denied _him_. She thought much too highly of herself. This girl, who had started as trash, had now been thrown into a life of power and importance. She didn't know how to handle herself. She didn't know how to respect others. She had to be taught. _He_ would have to teach her. That was the only way she woul- His dramatic inner monologue was rudely interrupted by an abrupt knocking at his door.

"Master Ren? Sir? General Hux requests your presence in the meeting about the housing project." called an extremely nervous stormtrooper. Sighing along with an audible grunt of wrath, Kylo grabbed his mask and placed it on his head, hiding the expression of fury and disappointment that his face wore. With that, he opened his door into the cold, metal world beyond.

He glared at the stormtrooper and stated, "Fix that wall," before walking stiffly down the hall to whatever boring meeting Hux was requiring him to attend.

This place was stupid. Moreover, the people he was forced to associate with were stupid. What good would he be listening to a meeting about housing on the ships? Did he look like an interior decorator? He should be constantly working - constantly searching - to find Luke Skywalker… and that godforsaken girl.

The meeting dragged on for an unholy amount of time. Kylo silently refused to pay any attention, though he rarely did anyway. He could not remove her from his mind. She sat on his brain like acid, slowly wearing down his sanity.

"Ren… REN!" Hux finally shouted at him, trying desperately to earn his attention. Kylo was snapped out of his state of sulking. Hux, pleased that he had caught his superior's mind wandering, set out to make him look like a fool, "Your thoughts, Sir?"

Kylo could not take it any longer. He refused to be looked down on by yet another person who was inferior to him. He stood and his hand shot out to the direction of Hux's neck. At once, the red head's face began to match the color of his hair.

"I think," Kylo began cynically, "that it is about time for this meeting to be over."

A choking Hux could just barely nod his approval before Kylo finally let up his torment.

"Do not summon me again tonight," he left as a threat as he stalked out of the room.

Sleep would not come easy for him tonight. It hardly ever did, but now he had even more to think over; to obsess over. What angered him the most was the fact that, at first, she had not resisted. Her body and mind had responded to him almost immediately. No fight was put up. He was almost sure that she had wanted him just as much. Maybe he shouldn't have gone that far. Maybe it was too much too soon. But that's what she didn't understand. Despite the fact that she had only just felt something towards him, he had been feeling, dreaming, and _craving_ her since the moment he first saw her. He just needed to clear his head… to get a good night's sleep. Or at least that's what he told himself as he finally drifted off.

***

Rey felt dead. The culmination of physical, emotional, and mental stress had finally reached its breaking point in her body. Days had gone by since her last encounter with Kylo, and she was thankful for the fact that she did not need to fully address that at the moment. She was _so_ tired. She hadn't gotten out of bed in days from sheer exhaustion. Her head pounded against her skull and her nose ran wild. She curled up once more under her piles of blankets.

Kylo could sense the connection just as it began to form. All of his anger and bitterness returned to him in a wave of hatred. He needed to yell at her. He didn't care if it made her hate him. He didn't care if it would end all chance of a further relationship. He could not control the pent up fury and frustration that begged him for release.

As soon as the connection fully solidified, he could tell something was wrong with her. She was sick. Her eyebrows furrowed and her hand flew to her head. She would figure out the source of the pain in seconds. All thoughts of yelling at this innocent girl were gone. In their place were thoughts of care and concern. Her eyes cracked open.

She let out a soft groan, "Ben?" Why'd she have to use that name? Something about her calling him by his old name, from a life that seemed eternities ago, made him even more curious about her strength and nerve. She herself was not sure what she was supposed to call him or why she went with Ben. Maybe it was an act of defiance, or maybe it was a way to remind him of the light.

Ben knew he had to be gentle. "Are you okay?" he asked, testing the waters of conversation.

Slowly, she began to nod, "I'm just sick. I'll be alright in a day or two." Ben could tell how tired she was by the way her words mumbled together as though she was already falling back asleep. The fact that she felt safe enough to fall asleep in front of him made him smile a little. Or it was a testament to how sick she truly was. But, either way, she was just so beautiful. Her soft brown hair gently caressed the sides of her face, neck, and shoulders. Her thick eyelashes were now batted shut in sleep. Her features relaxed in a sign of peace.

What was more practically interesting, in Ben's opinion, was how her mind opened up. He took the opportunity gratefully. He was in desperate need to know her thoughts on their encounter. It was slowly but surely driving him crazy. He could see the two of them in her mind. She was… confused. Confused about her feelings towards him. She didn't understand why she would feel drawn to her enemy like that. With time, he intended to show her why. Eagerly, he began to push a little harder, hungry to learn more. However, even in her state of sleep, she seemed to be pushing him away.

That's when Kylo saw something of even greater value flash through her thoughts. Her location. She had been living on a remote jungle planet called Ahch-To. The island he had seen in their first interrogation flickered back in his mind. It all made sense. This was it. This was perfect. Now he could have Luke Skywalker and Rey.

He waited patiently for the connection to end, simply watching the girl he was about to betray. Finally, he confidently walked out of the room and strode to the main control center.

"We need ships en route to Ahch-To. I found them," he declared, a bit more smugly than necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every kudos and comment I get makes me squeal with happiness so make sure to let me know what you think!!


	3. Seized

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ideas just keep coming to me :P Thank y'all so much for your kind words and kudos!

Rey awoke with a fit of shallow breaths, jerking up from her sweat drenched bedding. He had invaded her mind. He knew where she was. Somehow, she could tell. Rey couldn't help but feel completely and utterly betrayed. He had taken advantage of her sick and weakened state. She wanted to scream.

Outside, rain poured down onto the already saturated ground. She needed to get to Luke and warn him. She remembered that he had said something about going to see Chewie at the Millennium Falcon, but she couldn't recall anything else from her muddled state. She threw on her boots and ran outside into the cold and rain.

Despite the dropping temperatures pressing in on her practically bare skin, Rey felt like she was burning up. Her fever must be back. She didn't let it stop her and continued running as fast as she could. She had no idea how long ago Kylo Ren had discovered their location, but she figured that he would have made their capture a top priority.

Rey's question was answered sooner than wanted when she saw his ships out in the distance. She froze. Luke and the others were still halfway across the island, and Rey knew that she could not make it in time. It was over. He had won. Curse their bloody connection!

Rey could think of only one thing she could do. She wasn't even sure if it would work - Luke had only hinted at the possibility. She slowed to a stop and tried to calm herself. Then, she focused on Luke.

"Run. Leave now." her mind shouted. She couldn't tell if he had gotten it.

"Run. Leave now!" she could feel her energy leaving her, "Run. Leave now! Run. Leave now!" It repeated in her mind as an unbreakable chant. Nothing was happening. This had to work.

A deep breath in. A deep breath out. Then… "Run! Leave now!" her voice screamed in her mind and out loud. In the distance, she could see the Millennium Falcon flying away. That was the last thing she saw as her mind started to black out.

***

Kylo and his men quickly jumped from their ships.

"Find them. _Now_!" Kylo demanded.

The stormtroopers obeyed, scattering in all different directions.

Rain dripped down the sides of the dark Jedi's mask, obscuring his vision. He had never felt more powerful than this moment. His moment of seeming success, however, dissipated with time. More and more soldiers reported back empty handed, making him more and more outraged.

"Everyone back in the ships!" he ordered. If he wanted a job done right, he was going to have to do it himself. He didn't care if he had to walk over every inch of this planet, he would find Skywalker and Rey. His clothes were now thoroughly soaked, but he didn't pay one bit of attention towards it.

After a fair bit of walking, he found a village. The only problem was that it seemed empty. Or rather, recently emptied. After glancing around each hut, Kylo found what must have been Rey's. What few belongings she had were strewn all over the place, and her bed was still warm.

They couldn't have gotten away. He could almost sense her. He left the village and continued his search. His hard work was beginning to seem futile. There was no one. His feet began to ache and his breathing became heavy. It seemed like he had traveled the island twice by now. He would have to turn back soon. He would have to return to base empty handed and a complete fool.

He nearly tripped over a log in the path. He turned back once his balance returned and gasped. Not a log at all. There lay Rey, entirely soaked and very unconscious. He swooped her up into his arms and easily carried her back to the ships.

***

Rey's eyelids fluttered open. Everything felt heavy. It didn't take her long to realize why. As soon as she felt the cold metal of the restraints against her skin, everything came flooding back to her. Luke had gotten away, but he must have found her.

Her face scrunched up at the thought of him. He was awful. Terrible. She hated him. She kissed him. She still had not let herself think back to that, but now her thoughts were finally begging to be resolved.

Why had he kissed her? But, more concernedly, why had she kissed him back? It was a simple enough question, but she could think of no reasonable answer. Mind games. He must have tricked her. Deep down, she knew it wasn't the truth, but it was the only solution she could provide her perturbed mind at the moment.

Rey's mind began to piece together the puzzle of what had happened. After she had alerted Luke to leave, she had fallen unconscious. Then, his troops must have arrived and found her. How long ago had that been? Her sickness seemed to have disappeared, but her hunger had grown astronomically.

She looked around the room. It appeared to be identical to the one she had been held in before, if not the same one. The only difference was the severe lack of anyone else. No stormtroopers to trick. No Kylo to yell at.

Where was he? For someone who had been so urgently trying to find her, he now seemed to not even remember her existence. It might have been a good thing that she was restrained, for if she hadn't been, she would've killed him. Or at least injured him in some way. As it was, she was quite helpless. Minutes turned into hours of doing nothing but having thoughts like those until, finally, she nodded off to sleep.

She woke up from the sheer rumble of her angry stomach. How dare he capture her, starve her, and still not pay her any attention. Suddenly, she felt their connection start to form. Thank the Maker. She had a few choice words to say to him.

"Kylo," she growled as soon as she could see his stupid face. Kylo Ren couldn't help but notice her choice in calling him Kylo instead of Ben.

"Ahh, Rey," he said calmly, eyes scanning her body.

"Come. Here. Now," it took everything in her power to keep from shouting the phrase.

Kylo tried and failed to contain a smirk. He knew he shouldn't have. She was really angry. But, she was cute when she was angry. "Why," he asked, eyes full of amusement.

"I'll kill you," was her only reply.

"Tempting," Kylo scoffed, contemplating her answer.

"This isn't funny. I'm starving. Come here now!" The desperate twinge in her voice at the end of her plea is what made Kylo go to her once the connection was broken seconds later.

She stared daggers into him as he entered the room, as if she could actually stab him with a look. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her jaw was clenched in resolution.

"How dare you?" she demanded more than asked.

He sighed, having been expecting this question. "What did you expect?"

"Clearly too much!" she shot back.

"You opened your mind to me."

"I was asleep! And sick!" she defensively argued back, "Do you have no sense of decency or respect or _boundaries_?"

Kylo neared her, "Evidently, not. Where is he?"

"You're unbelievable!" she cried, "I have no idea, but do you really think that I would tell you even if I did know? I cannot believe you did this again."

The disappointed tone in her last sentence made him look down at the floor, "You would have died. I found you unconscious and practically drowned in the rain. I saved you."

"Next time, leave me."

He scoffed at her attitude, "Next time?"

"Shut up," she spat. "I'm hungry and my wrists hurt. Let me get down." she requested.

"You'll never get anything if you demand like that. How do you ask?" he teased.

Rey knew he was playing, but it made her furious. What made her even more angry was the fact that she had no power in this situation. He held all of the cards. He could let her sit here and starve to death, though she highly doubted he would.

They stared at each other, each mentally challenging the other to give in. Finally, through narrowed eyes and gritted teeth, "Please."

Kylo's face brightened in light of his success over her, "Sadly, I'm afraid that won't be possible. Not yet anyway."

Her eyes bulged. "What?" she cried out in the form of a choked sob. That caught both of their attentions. Rey's because, "What am I doing? How did I let myself cry?" and Kylo's because, "I went too far, didn't I?"

"Rey," he tried to say as gently as possible, "Of course I'm going to feed you, but you know I can't undo the restraints. You are too strong." With that, he left the room only to return seconds later with a plate of food.

"You had that out there the whole time, didn't you?" she asked, rolling her eyes. Then another question formed in her mind, "How am I supposed to eat it?"

"It appears that I am going to have to feed you."

"No."

"Fine then, go hungry," he drew near her, holding a bite of food on a fork. Her stomach growled so loudly that she was sure the whole base could hear it. She needed food. She couldn't let her pride get in the way of her survival. Reluctantly, she opened her mouth.

At once, she knew she had made the right decision. Her desperate mouth was met with a bright green root, potatoes, and some kind of poultry. She let herself forget the awkwardness of being fed like a child by Kylo Ren and gratefully ate bite after bite of food.

When she was done, he wiped a napkin across her face and let out a crooked, half-smirk that had been threatening to appear the whole time. Her head was turned to the side, clearly embarrassed.

"Rey?" he asked. Slowly, her head turned to look at him. He grabbed her chin in his hand and placed a swift kiss upon her lips before promptly turning and leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed! I absolutely live for feedback so tell me your thoughts! <3


	4. Strike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already had the outline of what this chapter was going to look like planned in my head, but then my writing went rogue. It also ended up being a lot longer than intended. Oh well :P
> 
> One more thing. I change Kylo Ren's name depending on how big of a idiot he's being. When he's actually sweet, he's Ben. When he's being annoying, he's Kylo. When he's being an all out jerk, he's Kylo Ren. At the moment, he spends most of his time in my writing as Kylo, but I figured y'all should know for future reference.
> 
> Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

The door to Rey's room opened suddenly, jerking her from her sleep. Oh no. Why was _he_ here? To her surprise, however, several stormtroopers entered. Before they could reach her, a redhead, who Rey knew to be General Hux, stormed past them.

He glared at her and loudly announced, "Remember Supreme Leader Snoke's instructions. Though minuscule, she is powerful and dangerous." Rey's face scrunched up at his words. What right did he have to say those things about her? And what could the soldiers do about it anyway?

The answer came far too quickly. The stormtrooper closest to her procured what looked like a roll of thick tape. Rey's mouth opened in protest, but her mouth was taped over before any rebuke could pass her lips.

Rey's eyebrows knitted together as she stared furiously at the group. That too, however, proved to be a privilege as she felt a blindfold being placed over her eyes. They must be moving her somewhere. That was the only thing that made sense. She felt a little honored that they considered her to be this much of a threat, but mostly she was just angry.

She felt the metal restraints on her wrists unclasp. Sadly, their freedom was short lived as she felt handcuffs being fastened tightly behind her back. The tape pulled at the skin on her face and the blindfold contorted her eyelashes. She hated how much control they had over her.

Rey felt herself start to fall to her knees as soon as the restrictions were removed from her ankles. In truth, she had no idea how long she had been in there for. Hours blended together and without being able to see the outside, it was truly impossible to tell day from night. Her legs were jelly when she tried to stand.

Quickly, two stormtroopers came to either side of her and yanked her back up. Had she had the ability, she would have complained about their roughness. As it was, though, she was left with no choice but to walk with the group to wherever she was meant to go.

Rey wished she could see. If she had her sight, she could be finding out information for the Resistance and figuring out how she could escape. Instead, she tried to listen to any conversations around her. To her disappointment, there seemed to be no one. Maybe they had all been given instructions to leave the halls. Or maybe they were all there, silently watching her pass. Rey didn't like that.

Her legs throbbed as she tried to walk the long distance. In reality, she was mostly being supported by the stormtroopers on either side of her. They twisted and turned so suddenly and so quickly that Rey had no hope of remembering the path they had taken.

Rey was dizzy and disoriented by the time they reached her supposed destination. Three sharp raps were placed on the door before it was opened.

"Master Ren, sir," she heard Hux start to say, "Your prisoner."

Shoot. She didn't like how Hux referred to her as Kylo's prisoner. She was definitely a prisoner, but not his. By no means his.

She felt herself being shoved into the room and before she knew it, she was back on her knees. The door slammed shut behind her. She could hear the footsteps of the entourage fade as they walked back to their regular jobs.

The awkwardness of this situation finally struck her. She was alone in a room with Kylo Ren, but she could neither talk nor see. She didn't even know where he was within the room. A wave of anxiety flashed through her. She knew he could sense it.

Rey had not realized that she had been hanging her head down until she felt his gloved hand tilt her chin up. She felt beyond uncomfortable. Soon, however, she felt his position shift, and he began undoing her handcuffs. Rey was relieved that she would finally be partly released from her captivity. His large hands barely grazed the top of her backside as he worked. She felt a deep crimson flood her cheeks despite herself.

Why did something as stupid as that make her blush? The man had kissed her for Heaven's sake! Her shut eyes tightened beneath her blindfold. Why the heck did she have to remind herself of that right now?

As soon as she heard the final click of metal, she was standing up and tearing away her disabilities. Her face stung as she tore away the tape from her mouth and her legs still wobbled underneath her, but she felt much more in control. Even though she could now see and speak, she chose to silently turn away from him, blushing all the while. The more she thought about him, the worse it got.

She heard his throat clear and her head turned on instinct. Curse instincts! He wore his same stupid smirk that made her face turn red, although now it was from a combination of embarrassment and irritation. Her eyes darted around the room and were shocked to find a bed and a dresser. Was this his _bedroom_?

He looked at her expectantly, as if he wanted her to speak first. Luckily for him, questions were blowing up in her mind.

"Why am I here?" she suddenly demanded.

"Would you prefer your original arrangement?" he asked. Why did he have to say everything sarcastically?

"Where are we?" Rey asked, ignoring his question.

"Your bedroom."

She was taken aback. "Oh… thank you," was her only reply.

Rey looked around the room with a new sense of gratitude until a new question burned in her brain. She couldn't help but notice how darkly decorated the room was. And his mask sitting proud on the nightstand seemed to be her breaking point. Her eyes narrowed as she barely whispered, "I-is this your room as well?"

Kylo's sharp exhale of breath let out through his nostrils gave away his failed attempt at stifling a laugh. "No… but that can be arranged," he teased.

Rey shot him a resentful look before mumbling her original question again, "Why am I here?"

Kylo slowly removed his gloves before finally sighing, "It is time to begin your training."

Rey scoffed, "Training? For what?"

"Training in the Force for the First Order."

Her eyes widened. Did he really think she would agree with that?

"No."

Kylo raised an eyebrow at the girl's abruptness, "The training you've been doing with Luke has been softening you. He has been teaching you to bottle up your power rather than embrace your full potential." He took a few steps forward before finishing his thought, "I can teach you to completely let go."

"I would prefer to unlock only half of my potential serving the light than embrace my full potential serving the dark and training with you," she shot back sharply.

Kylo could feel his temper rising. He had to keep it under control or else she would never agree. But how could he sit back and watch such utter disrespect unfold before him?

"We'll see about that," was all he could bring himself to say as he strode nearer to her.

"There's nothing _to_ see. I refuse to be trained in the dark side," she stated very matter-of-factly.

Kylo's cursed half grin returned to his face, "I think you'll find yourself changing your mind very soon." The smug nod of his head as he spoke infuriated her even more than she already was. He spoke to her like he knew her every step before she even made it.

After her lack of response, Kylo continued, "You need to be tamed."

Fire flashed in Rey's eyes, "You speak of me as though I am nothing but a wild animal."

"Oh, but you are. Don't get me wrong, Rey, your spirit is important. Powerful even. But, I need to make you a little less… feral."

Rey was unreasonably angry. Or maybe it was reasonable. She couldn't quite tell as her hand flew up to find his face. This time, he was quicker. He grabbed her wrist in a viselike grip. Rey winced at the pressure on her bruises left from days of restraints, but she refused to show weakness. She choked down her pain and stared directly into his eyes, daring him to try and fight.

Kylo was all too happy to accept her challenge. Rey saw his face grow stern looking, but his eyes gave away his amusement. Even so, Rey held her ground. Kylo pulled Rey to him in one fell swoop, holding her tight against him.

Rey's free hand shot out in the form of a fist and began beating against his chest, back, and whatever other part of him that she could reach. Her attacks, however, seemed to have no effect on him whatsoever. Rey removed her focus from his torso and snapped her head up to look at him. This was a losing battle, but she was far too stubborn to give in. Her hand shot up to his head, took a fistful of hair, and yanked.

Kylo's face scrunched up and he took in an inhale of breath. His hand dropped its control over her wrist for only a split second, but it was all Rey needed. She twisted out of his grasp and scurried to the opposite end of the room. She panted as she watched him, her determination never wavering.

He started a fresh pursuit of her, but before he was even halfway across the room, Rey charged at him in a full out sprint, hoping to knock him to the ground. Kylo very simply dodged her attack and let out a chuckle as Rey tried to stop herself before she collided with the wall. Rey's anger turned to total and complete fury at his laughter.

She turned and tried to pounce once more. This time, Kylo met her motion. His large hands grasped her shoulders just as her palms reached his arms. They fought to push through the other, arms fully extended, and fingers clutching the other's skin. Rey was thrusting herself against him full force, while he seemed to barely be doing anything.

He was giving her a false sense of hope. Rey knew that if he was actually trying, he would overtake her in a moment. He had not even attempted to strike her. Maybe he didn't hit girls. "Stop trying to give me hope of winning. Stop going easy on me."

His reply was slow and deliberate, "I don't think that's really what you want."

Rey's head twisted and turned all around the room, looking for something to give her an advantage. Her eyes settled on his helmet, sitting on the table across the room. In one quick motion, she had pulled away from him and shot her hand out to the helmet.

She had done this before. She just had to focus. Sure enough, the helmet zoomed across the space and into her waiting hands. When her eyes glanced back at Kylo, he seemed to be extremely intrigued by her plan. She ran at him once again, only this time with a heavy metal object that could theoretically do some damage.

She jabbed it into his stomach with all the force she could muster. Her attack seemed to have its desired effect. His eyes shut and he let out a low grunt as he bent forward in an attempt to absorb the blow. Rey felt proud. In his mind, maybe he saw this as yet another reason she had to be tamed. In her mind, however, she felt nothing but control in a place where she hadn't expected any.

He clasped the helmet in his hands and hurled it onto the bed. It bounced around a few times before settling on a pillow. Kylo straightened out. He was recovering too quickly. Dread rushed through Rey's body and he reached out to her, encircling her waist with his arms. She tried desperately to calm herself, knowing that he could feel her emotions. It was too late.

"Scared, Rey?" he whispered low in her ear. She did not give a hint of a reply, her body seemingly frozen in place. One of his legs swept behind her and forcefully bent her knees, causing her to topple over. He swung her around and pinned her to the ground.

He covered every part of her with his hulking form, allowing no chance of escape, and nearly suffocating them both in the process. He held both of her wrists firmly in one hand.

"You need a teacher. You have so much power and you don't know how to use it." He explained his intent clearly.

"I nearly beat you," her voice came out small and obsolete. She knew where this discussion was going.

"I wasn't trying."

"Let. Me. Go." trembled Rey, turning her head from him.

Kylo used his free hand to turn her face back to him. "It took you until almost the end of the fight to use the Force. You need to be trained to make faster decisions."

At the moment, Rey was almost tempted to accept. She needed to get out of his grasp and to be able to defend herself next time. _Next time_. That thought scared her. All the same, she stubbornly refused to give into his offer of dark power.

She squirmed under him so relentlessly, that she managed to find a brief moment of escape. Turning her back towards him, she lunged for freedom. It was to no avail. Now Kylo held her pinned on her stomach. Her face became all too acquainted with the floor.

"Just agree. I don't like having to do this," he huffed. That was a lie. He couldn't help but think about how beautiful she was. He could only hope that she couldn't see how much he was enjoying this. She was too strong willed. Even as he held her down entirely, she writhed under him.

She needed rest. Kylo's memory jumped back to when he saw her in the shower. She had been so tired, she hadn't even noticed their connection. And then, she had gotten sick just days after. She must be exhausted. Where did she find it in her to keep going?

He tried not to dwell too long on her in the shower. It brought too many images to mind. The last thing he needed right now was for Rey to know how much he desired her. Then, she might have reason behind her fear. But, she must know to some extent. He _had_ kissed her after all.

"Get. Off. Of. Me!" Rey's sentence came out in short breaths, and Kylo realized that he might have actually been smothering her. At once, he removed himself. He could only hope that she had not demanded that because she had read his thoughts. This seemed unlikely. He was just being paranoid.

As soon as he was off of her, she was on the other side of the room, eyes wide and breathing deeply.

He stood up, but kept his distance, not wanting to frighten her, "Rey."

"Don't!" she cut him off shakily, "I will train with you in the Force, but not in the dark side and not for the First Order."

Kylo nodded slowly. It was not ideal, but he was afraid to push her any further.

"Rey… I-I'm sorry." He really was, and he could sense that she knew it, too. He breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"You need to get some sleep," he told her gently. Training would be tough and he did not need her getting sick again.

He fought the urge inside of him to kiss her goodnight. Or at least make sure she went to bed. But, he had taken too much today. He had actually frightened her. He knew she hated to be overpowered, so why had he done it? He sighed.

"Goodnight," he said before leaving the room.

Rey stood, still glued to the spot she had run off to. She didn't care that much about the fight. If anything, she was more upset about her loss than she was about the existence of the scuffle at all. The fact that he had pinned her down and practically forced her to agree to training angered her more. But still, that was not the reason that she was standing there, frozen in fear and shock.

She had seen inside his mind. She had seen what he thought about her - what he thought about _doing_ to her. She shuddered and blushed profusely. The movement, small as it was, finally broke her from her trance.

She moved across the room to the bed. _Her_ bed. Rey felt more and more relieved that this room belonged to her and her alone. She had known that he liked her. He had kissed her on two separate occasions. It was her own fault for refusing to think about that until now. She just hadn't realized how serious he was about it.

She thought about taking a shower, but the thought of Kylo Ren being able to burst in on her at any moment turned her mind against the idea. She climbed onto the soft mattress and lay her head down on the pillow. She really was tired. Her eyelids began to become heavy and she found it harder and harder to keep her eyes open.

Something heavy rolled on the bed. She sat straight up, suddenly alert. Down, next to her thigh, lay his mask. Rey looked down at it, deliberating with what she should do with it. She set it down on the nightstand. No, now it looked like it was looking at her and she didn't like that at all.

She contemplated destroying it. That, however, would make Kylo mad, and Rey did not want to know what he would do when angry. She settled on setting it on the floor in the corner of the room furthest from her. Eagerly, she climbed back into bed and was quickly claimed by sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for comments and kudos so let me know what you think!!


	5. Smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! Hope y'all like this kinda fluffy chapter <3

Rey lay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Just like everything else in the room, it was black. It made her feel out of place just being in the room. Even though the room was quite spacious, the darkness made it feel like it was closing in on her.

Rey had no idea how long she had slept for. It felt like it had been a long time, but in truth, she had no idea. Despite her slight want to be defiant and not sleep, she had needed rest. She felt revived and knew that it had been the right decision. She needed to keep her strength up.

Rey closed her eyes to think. She could not continue ignoring the questions that blared up in her mind. She needed a plan. Reluctantly, she forced herself to think of him. Ben liked her. No. Kylo Ren _wanted_ her. It was an odd sentence to say, and one that she didn't understand. Of all people, why would he be attracted to her? They were opposites. Nothing about them suited the other. Or maybe that was it. _Did_ opposites attract? She hadn't given him much positive feedback towards the matter. Or had she? She thought back to their kiss. How could she have been so ignorant? In her mind, he had been Ben. Now, as she sat a prisoner on his ship, she knew that he was still Kylo.

She sat up and looked around the room. Her eyes immediately found his helmet, still seated in the corner of the space. Her eyes squinted at it questioningly. Knowing Kylo, he probably had cameras or some advanced technology in his helmet. Maybe he had been watching her. She shot out of bed and to the piece of metal. Curiosity got the best of her and she placed it over her head.

It felt weird. She could hardly see. Or hear. Or walk. She wobbled around from the extra weight that had suddenly been pooled onto her shoulders. Luckily, she found no secret mechanisms that could spy on her. Rey was baffled by the fact that he chose to wear this everyday.

Kylo entered the room as gently as he possibly could. It had been longer than half a day, and he was sure she must be awake by now. The sight before him as he entered through the recently locked door made him grin. He couldn't help it. Rey was wearing his helmet. It looked completely out of place on her. Ignoring the fact that it was about five sizes too big for her, the contrast between her soft, white wraps and the cold, black metal looked ridiculous.

He swept across the room to her and started to remove his helmet from her head, "So that's where it was."

"Ben!" the word came out half distorted and half normal. Rey's cheeks were bright red. Of all the times he could come in, it had to be while she was trying on his helmet. She couldn't bring herself to look at him, "I-I was- I just wanted to see what it was like." She couldn't tell him what she had really been doing. That she had thought he was spying on her.

"I brought you some new clothes," he stated before handing them to her. She was relieved that he had changed the topic.

The outfit was not black and Rey was thankful. She hated the color black. Instead, the articles were grey and very similar to her regular clothes, only made out of much finer material.

In the corner of her eye, she saw him raise an eyebrow at her. "Thank you," she said quickly.

"You'll need them for your training."

She rolled her eyes. Part of her brain had blocked that out. What does training even mean?

"You'll see."

"Stop reading my thoughts!" she growled.

He tilted his head to the side, contemplating her, "Are you hungry?"

She paused for a moment before simply replying, "Yes."

Despite the intense heat she felt rise in her cheeks, she couldn't refuse the chance at food. The more she thought about it, she realized that she had not eaten at all yesterday.

He smirked before calling out to the door, "Bring it in!"

At once, the door opened and plate after plate of food was brought in. Rey's eyes widened. This was more food than she had ever seen. Different types of bread, eggs, and some kind of meat were set before her on a small table. The last dish to be brought in was a jar of glowing, amber liquid. Honey. It amazed Rey that food that she had only dreamed of was readily available to Kylo with just the snap of his fingers.

Just as quickly as the workers had come, they were gone. Rey eyed the food hungrily as the smell of it wafted through the air. Ben gestured to the open seats and she eagerly sat down. She did not know or care about proper etiquette, she just needed to get food into her body. She devoured the portion put in front of her without a second's thought.

Kyo watched her, amused by her enthusiasm, until he finally slid into the seat next to her.

In between bites of food, Rey looked to him, "Is this how you usually feed your prisoners?"

Ben sighed, "You're not a prisoner."

Rey shot him a look through squinted eyes, "You captured me and locked me away on your ship. In what way am I not a prisoner?"

"You're not supposed to be. You're supposed to be my guest," he explained.

Rey scoffed and rolled her eyes. She was not his guest. Guests were not locked up.

Her eyes fell on the jar of golden honey and she glanced up at him quizzically, "Ben?"

Immediately, before the word had even fully passed her lips, he was opening the jar and offering it to her.

She grabbed a piece of bread and dipped it into the container. Soon, the wonderfully sweet taste filled her mouth. "I've never had honey before."

"You can have as much as you'd like."

She smiled, but soon her thoughts wandered. "It doesn't seem fair."

"What doesn't?" he asked.

"That there are people all over the galaxy who don't have anything to eat and I'm sitting around eating honey," she replied thoughtfully.

"They don't matter."

She glared at him and her eyebrows shot together, "I was one of them."

Shoot. Right. "Well, of course, I don't mean you. I'm sorry," he offered.

"If you were truly sorry, then you would stop harming and killing innocent people," she shot back.

"We can't do that," he sneered.

"You _can_. What if you had killed me in one of your rages?" Rey was on the verge of tears, but she fought them back, "What would you do then?"

This question struck him hard. He did not know what he would do if she had been killed. If their Force connection was severed before it even fully emerged. But, now, he had her. So the others didn't matter. They could _all_ die for all he cared. She was his.

Rey could hear his thoughts as if he were speaking them to her. She gasped and choked on a sob, abruptly standing up from the table. "You're a monster," she shuddered, "and your logic is skewed… and I'm not yours." She added the last bit in just to hurt him, but she felt satisfied with her statement.

Immediately, he tapped some sort of device on his wrist. General Hux's voice blared through the technology, "Yes?"

"Stop all firing on the villagers," Ben commanded.

Hux sounded strained, "But Master Ren-"

" _Now_ ," Kylo's silent threat was laced throughout the word.

"Yes, sir." The device shut off.

Rey stared at him wide eyed. Then, a massive smile flooded her face. Before either of them could think about what was happening, she had run to him and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, Ben," she whispered. It was only at that moment that she realized the situation she had put herself in. His strong arms were now wrapped firmly about her waist and they didn't show signs of stopping. To her surprise though, after a few more seconds, he squeezed and pulled himself away from her.

She grinned at him and he gave her a rare gift: an actual smile. Not a sneer, not a sarcastic smirk, but a genuinely happy smile.

"We'll start your training tomorrow," he declared as he suddenly began to walk towards the door.

"Tomorrow?" Rey had expected that would be their next step for today.

"Yes... It's dark now," he explained after seeing her extreme confusion. He grabbed his helmet, which had earlier been discarded to the floor.

Wow. Her sense of time was way off. How long _had_ she slept for? "Oh. Goodnight then!" she told him, face still beaming.

"Goodnight, Rey," he murmured as he gently shut the door.

He walked across the large ship, engulfed in thought. He knew that he would receive heavy rebukes and reprimands from Snoke for his actions, but he didn't care. He only cared about her.

Leaving Rey had been extremely hard to do. It had taken everything in him to not swoop her up and kiss her. To run his hands up and down her body and claim her as his. In truth, if he had stayed a moment longer, he might have. But, instead, he had made her happy. That was all that really mattered. He just wanted to make her happy.

And she had _hugged_ him for it. Despite all they had been through, that hug was somehow the most intimate experience they had ever shared.

He swore to make her happy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!! Comments and kudos make my day!


	6. Shatterable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!

"What did you think gave you the right to order a stop to the attacks on the villagers?" Snoke demanded.

Kylo Ren could see Hux smirking in the corner. Of course he had been the one to tell him.

"It was supposed to prove-"

Kylo was cut off by Snoke's blaring voice, "Prove? Prove what? That you are truly as weak as your father was? That all of your power can be swayed by a worthless girl?"

Kylo gritted his teeth, "The order was made out of pure military strategy. We are not losing anything, and in return, we are gaining the girl's trust."

"Supreme Leader, if I may argue," began Hux, lips pursed.

"Silence!" ordered Snoke before turning his attention back to Kylo, "My faithful apprentice, why would we need the trust of a _scavenger_?"

His words were laced with ice, but Kylo's returned with fire, "The more trusting she is of us, the more details she will share about the Resistance and about Luke. She is the key to ending them once and for all."

Snoke seemed to contemplate this reasoning before finally responding, "I hope you are aware that failure will lead to grave consequences."

"Supreme Lead-"

Before Hux could get any further than that, Kylo's hand had shot out to his throat. He did not have time for anything he might have to say. He let a few more seconds pass before unceremoniously dropping him to the floor and walking out.

His fists clenched and released in fury. Why had he given such a stupid order, knowing what the outcome would be? Oh yeah. Rey. Snoke was right. He was weak. _He_ had all of the power and _he_ could take whatever he wanted. He did not need to listen to her. He didn't need her approval.

He should have cooled off. That would have been the smart, rational thing to do at the moment. Instead, he found his feet stomping up to Rey's door. She should be up by now anyway. His gloved fingers jammed into the keypad at the side of her door, unlocking it. He roughly slammed the door open and it banged into the innocent wall beside it.

Rey, who had been asleep before his abrupt entering, was now sitting straight up in her bed, body tensed in preparation for an attack. Her hair, which was half pulled up, lay in disarray. She calmed down a little once she saw that it was only him.

He barged through the doorway and quickly shut it behind him. Rey could tell something was wrong by his actions, but she couldn't quite figure out what it was due to the barrier of his stupid mask.

As she watched him, unease crept back into her. This was not Ben, who had been so kind to her and ordered the stop of the attacks. This was Kylo Ren.

"Take your mask off," she demanded.

Kylo was not in the mood to obey orders. "Why?"

Rey's eyes narrowed, "Please."

"No."

Rey was confused. That usually worked. "What is wrong with you?" she asked sharply.

"Silence!" he barked, his words echoing Snoke's.

His distorted voice made her jump. She _hated_ his helmet.

Rey leapt from her bed and walked stiffly towards him. Her hands shot up to his head in an attempt to remove his mask. Sadly, he was too fast and far too tall. He pushed her away effortlessly.

Kylo could not let her see his face right now. He was sure that his anger and rage were spelled out over his expression. Then again, she seemed to have already guessed it from his actions as she now stood a few feet away quivering.

Even though she could not see his face, she could feel his eyes scanning her body.

"Put on the training clothes," he told her.

In truth, Rey had forgotten all about them. They lay discarded over the side of a chair. He swiftly picked them up and handed them to her.

Rey looked at the cloth and then back to Kylo, waiting for him to move. Instead, he stood his ground, staring at her.

"Change."

Rey's eyebrows knitted together and her mouth flew open, "Not until you leave."

"I'll close my eyes." Despite his mask, she could still hear the mirth in his voice.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" she scoffed.

He did not respond and she, in turn, stood motionless with her arms crossed in defiance.

At last, he conceded and leisurely turned around. Though it was a slightly better situation, Rey did not like it. She wished she had remembered to change last night when she was alone.

"If you turn around, I'll kill you," she threatened.

Rey undressed and redressed as quickly as physically possible. The old, worn outfit was cast aside to the bed. Her fingers ran through her hair and her hands ran over the light grey fabric, smoothing it against her figure. She could tell her face was burning red when she spoke again, "Okay."

He turned back around only to reveal handcuffs. From behind the safety of his mask, his eyes scoured appreciatively over her body.

"No," she said firmly, gesturing to the cuffs.

Ignoring her demand, Kylo grabbed her and turned her around, pulling her wrists together behind her back. He fastened the restraints tight enough to leave bruises.

"Ow!" she shouted at him, but he did not seem to listen.

He entered the combination to the door's lock system once more before dragging her out into the world beyond. He walked at a ridiculously fast speed and she struggled to keep up.

Unlike the last time she was moved, she now had the ability to see. Her mind raced to memorize her surroundings, trying to find something with useful information.

Suddenly, Kylo stopped and Rey nearly slammed into him due his abrupt change of pace.

"Any attempt at escaping is futile," he said, turning to look at her. She hated when he read her thoughts, but it was worse when she couldn't even see his face. Before she could respond, he had placed a hand, clothed in black leather, over her eyes.

From this new angle, she was in front and he had to nudge her along. "Stop it," she spat. He did not.

They now had to walk at a painfully slow pace and Rey felt like she was falling with every step. Nonetheless, they eventually reached their destination. Rey heard the door being unlocked and then she was pushed inside.

His hand dropped from her eyes and she spun around to face him. All of her energy was concentrated on him and, soon enough, she dove into his mind. Bits and pieces of his conversation with Snoke flashed before her eyes before he drove her out, fists clenched.

"So that's why you're being like this. It's Snoke's doing."

"If this is anyone's fault, it's yours. The order was _your_ idea." His temper had risen even higher due to the violation of his mind. He did not even consider the fact that he had read _her_ thoughts just moments ago.

"Your wrongdoings are becoming your pastimes," she glared. "Just because Snoke is trying to enforce evil inside of you, doesn't mean you have to give in! You did the right thing, Ben. It's okay."

He did not respond and Rey mentally begged him to let her see his face. Instead, Kylo walked behind her and removed her hands from their bondage. He strolled over to a huge cabinet in the corner of the space and opened it to reveal a collection of extra lightsabers.

"What color do you want?" he asked.

Rey could not hold back her laugh, "What?"

"I figured that was something that girls cared about," he stated.

Rey giggled again, "I wish that I had my lightsaber, but I guess I'll just take a different blue one."

He grabbed one and threw it to her before unsheathing his own.

"That hardly seems fair."

"What?" he questioned.

"That you get to use a lightsaber that you're used to," she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Fine," he growled, reluctantly laying his weapon down along with his gloves and procuring a new one. Unsurprisingly, it glowed red when he lit it.

Rey grasped tightly to the metal of the sword, blue light illuminating her face. She stared at him, unsure of what to do. She was not used to fighting him without life or death consequences.

"This is _your_ training - you make the first move," he told her.

Rey grit her teeth and lunged at him, saber swinging down on him. He skillfully dodged her attack and sighed.

"You need to use the Force. Focus on what I'm doing and use it to your advantage," he instructed.

She calmed herself before looking back to him. She sprung forward aggressively only to find his saber clashing against hers.

"You're trying too hard. Let go," he grunted, arms straining to slide away from her attack.

Rey pulled away again and closed her eyes. She stayed like that for several seconds, feeling her stress melt away into peace. Her eyes shot back open and she began moving. She felt herself give in to the power of the Force as it guided her against his every move. Their lightsabers banged together, causing sparks to fly at random. Finally, she was presented with an open opportunity and she rammed her weapon into his arm.

Nothing happened. She looked at him confused as he deactivated his.

"These are for training. You cannot do any real damage with them," he explained before adding, "You did well."

Rey was well aware of how well she had done. She felt as though all of her energy had abandoned her. Panting, she leaned against the nearest wall, trying desperately to rebuild strength, "I won."

"In a way." He barely acknowledged her victory, but it still made her feel proud.

"Now, will you _please_ take your stupid mask off?" she asked, back still slumped against the wall.

"Kiss me."

"What?" she gaped. That came out of _nowhere_.

"I will take my helmet off if you kiss me." He was challenging her, and her headstrong self wasn't one to back down from a challenge.

She stood up straight from the wall and took a few steps towards him, knowing that she would regret what she was about to do. "Fine," she shot out, squinting her eyes stubbornly.

At once, his hands were at the fasteners of his disguise, pulling it off to reveal his true passion. He cocked an eyebrow at her, silently daring her to progress. She approached him in the same way she attacked him: quickly and with a purpose.

Eyes screwed shut and hands clenched in fists at her sides, she raised herself up onto her toes and pressed her lips against his. His arms went to wrap around her frame, but she had already pulled herself from his oncoming grasp.

"Do not wear it in front of me again," she tried and failed to appear tough. Kissing him really threw her for a loop every time.

His devilish smirk flooded his face, "I won't… _if_ you do it again."

"You're absolutely abhorrent," she retorted.

"I know."

This time, he met her kiss and grabbed her before she could retreat. His dark hair tickled her forehead, but she didn't notice. His tongue began to pry open her reluctant mouth. Soon however, it broke through and wasted no time finding her own to battle. She moaned involuntarily into the embrace.

How had she let herself get into this position again? Why had she let her stubborn pride get the best of her? Why did it feel so bloody amazing? Her brain was racing through thoughts faster than she could fully comprehend them. It settled on the images she had seen in his mind only a few days ago. The images of what he wanted to do with her. And yet, her body still refused to push him away.

To her surprise, he pulled back first. His expression looked serious and his eyes danced with questions, but she could not figure them out in her jumbled state.

Kylo drew his lightsaber to him and grabbed her arm before yanking her across the room and into the openness of the base. He did not bother with handcuffs or a blindfold, instead maintaining a vise-like grip on her upper arm as he hurried her back to her quarters.

He could not believe it. He would not _let_ himself believe it. Not until he had proof. And yet, he could still see the pictures that poured from her mind. Rey wanted him.

Even once they were behind her locked door, his arm refused to let go. He stared at her with wild eyes that made her heart beat out of her chest. What was he doing?

"Rey."

"Yes?" she asked breathlessly.

His other hand grabbed onto her lower back and pulled her into him until they were flush against each other. He swept a chaste kiss across her nose. He needed to go about this delicately.

His voice was excruciatingly low, "Do you want t…" He could not finish the sentence, terrified that he would scare her away like a wild animal chasing its prey.

Something between a gasp and a gulp overtook Rey's throat and she shook her head. He pulled away from her as soon as he saw the movement. She looked close to tears and he could feel the fear radiating off of her.

"No. Please don't be afraid," he told her earnestly, "I won't - force you. Please know that."

She was now sniffling to hold back her sobs, but she nodded her head, "I know." She could feel the sincerity in his words. He would not harm her. At least not like that.

Looking at her now, Kylo could not help but notice what his raw yearning so often blocked out: how young and innocent and _small_ she was. In battle, it was hardly a weakness and in everyday life, her temperament usually covered it. It was only now, in her state of vulnerability, that her true fragile nature surfaced. She was shatterable.

A feeling of protectiveness overcame him. He would not allow harm to befall her at any cost. She was too important. He did not care if it made him weak. He did not care if it made him like his father. She was all that mattered.

Rey recovered herself quickly, and with a final shaky breath, she faced him again with a new layer of strength. Though he had not intended for her to know this, in the midst of his plea, she had seen his confusion. He had seen his thoughts in her brain and thought them to be her own.

"I saw your mind - when I was first brought to this room," she began to explain, "I _know_ , Ben."

She did not fully explain the point she was trying to make, but he understood. He absently nodded in response while silently cursing himself out. He was used to self hatred at this point, but he felt especially horrible for this. Rey sensed his loathing through the bond and could hardly stand it. She reached out and grabbed one of his large hands with her smaller one.

"It's okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and feedback truly make my day, so any you give are greatly appreciated!


	7. Scream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo!! Hope y'all enjoy!

Kylo could feel his body nearly shaking as he walked swiftly back to his quarters. The combination of excitement and anticipation over something that wouldn't actually happen for a long time swelled in him. Rey would be his. He would like to have believed that she was his right now. And, he liked to _claim_ that she was his right now. But, in reality, he knew that his mind would never fully accept the statement as truth until she submitted to him. Now that he had proof of that, he could not stop thinking about it.

Images of her perfectly dark form splashed through his mind. Hair down and dressed in a long black dress; they were images that even _his_ wild head couldn't have fully dreamed up. These were real. These were the future. He passed through the door to his bedroom and began to undress.

Still, despite how vividly he had seen the outcome, he had no idea how to achieve it. He continued to flash through pictures as if they were a slideshow. Her red lightsaber blazing across her perfectly serious face. And the final picture, her sitting by his side, ruling the galaxy as one. It was everything that his being had been silently craving, but couldn't put it into coherent thoughts. Wickedly, his depraved mind morphed the memory of Rey, naked and innocent, with the immoral seductress that now haunted his thinking. It didn't quite seem possible, but he could hardly contain the excitement it brought him.

Now that the realization had struck him, he knew he would not be satisfied until she was his.

The second their fingertips touched, Rey had seen the vision. The future. _Their_ future. She lay restless in her bed, the thought sleep never entering her mind. There was too much to think over.

Kylo Ren would turn back to Ben Solo once and for all. The conflict that had been tearing him apart since day one would finally be settled and he would reverse the fate of the galaxy. Rey could see it as clearly as if she were actually watching it happen.

Rey was not sure exactly what exactly would happen to make him change, but she was sure she was part of it. In that moment, she also viewed his thoughts. This time, however, it was not the perverse imagination of a monster. It was caring and dedication - two things that she had not been sure Kylo Ren was capable of feeling. It spoke even further into the certainty that he would return to being Ben.

She could have liked him if he were Ben.

She was getting way too far ahead of herself. Nothing had happened yet and for the time being, he still needed to be fixed.

"Channel your power into the Force. Let it control you as much as you control it," Ben instructed.

Rey sat cross legged on a training mat, while he stood, walking around her. The room looked identical to the one they had been practicing fighting in for a couple of weeks. In fact, if he had not felt the need to tell her that he had this separate room just for meditation, Rey would have thought he had led her to the same space. The waste and excess resources that seemed to surround Kylo made Rey scoff.

After devoting tireless hours to improving her physical strength, Ben had insisted on improving her connection with the Force. This was something that Rey had been dreading. Teaching her stronger fighting techniques would not change her devotion to the light. In this more personal type of training, she would have no way of knowing how far he had pushed her towards the edge of damnation until she had fallen too far to return. Still, she believed desperately that her strong willed stubbornness would keep her safe. It would have to.

"Maybe I would have better focus if you didn't insist on circling me like I'm some sort of prey," she retorted.

Kylo stopped short in front of her. In reality, that was exactly what she was: his prey. However, he was well aware that she would be quite against the analogy. He sighed and sat down awkwardly on the mat, facing her.

"There," he conceded. "Now try again."

Rey's eyes closed and allowed her energy to run rampant through her. The presence of the Force grew to a near unbearable amount.

"Good," Ben rewarded. "Focus on the rock and allow all of the power that you feel to lift it."

The rock, which was really the size of a boulder, began to hover. Rey's eyes flew open and a smile stretched over her whole face.

"I'm doing it!" she exclaimed.

"Bring it to me."

Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as the boulder began to inch closer to them. Her face looked strained and her muscles trembled. Just before reaching its intended destination, the rock fell from the air with a deafening crash, nearly hitting Kylo in the process.

Rey fell backwards onto the mat, panting from exertion. It seemed that would be all the training her body and mind could handle for the day.

After several minutes, Ben stood and offered a gloved hand to Rey. She took it gratefully and allowed him to pull her up. Even though she was basically made of muscle, years of undernourishment had left her painfully lightweight.

She was shaky on her feet as they walked back towards her room. He did not bother with bindings or blindfolds anymore, and she had learned that there was not much to observe in stark white hallways, blaring lights, and stone faced workers.

Over the weeks that she had been here, though she was not sure exactly how long it had been, they had developed a form of a routine. Everyday, he came to her room, followed by trays of breakfast. Next, he would train her, whether it be physical or mental. Finally, he would bring her back to her quarters and they would eat dinner.

It seemed that he was desperate to keep her from having human interaction with anyone other than himself. Ben could sense her loneliness through the bond and could only hope that by isolating her entirely, she would open up more to him. That was his goal, anyway.

They sat down to dinner at the small table in her room. Bowls of some kind of meat lay in front of them and Kylo dug in with no persuasion. It was not until he noticed Rey's confused glaring at the food that he finally put down his fork.

"What is it?" she asked, poking at it like a child playing with her food.

"Smoked kaadu."

"But what is kaadu?"

"Sometimes it's better not to know," Ben chuckled.

Tentatively, Rey gathered a bite onto her utensil and ventured a mouthful. "Well it tastes fine, I guess."

Ben had figured out from many meals with Rey that she didn't like not knowing what she was eating. However, when he tried to give her food from creatures she _did_ know, she got upset. He had found it easier to just steer clear of the conversation entirely.

After a moment, Ben changed the subject, "Do you like your room?"

"It's fine."

"Do you like the shower and the bathroom?" he asked. Knowing that running water had been a luxury on Jakku, Ben had made sure that Rey's bathroom was equipped with the finest washing facilities.

"Mhmm," Rey answered absentmindedly, eyes glancing down and away from Kylo.

"You have been using it, haven't you?" he asked in response.

She did not reply, instead staring at her hands that were clasped tightly in her lap.

"Rey?"

"I just prefer to wash with a wet cloth," she shot out, words jumbling over each other. Her cheeks were flushed.

Utter silence fell over the room. "You're afraid that I'm going to watch you again," he offered in a tone that resembled a sigh. She, however, remained defiantly silent, face revealing no emotions.

Prompted by her silence, he quickly glanced into her mind. The invasion was over so quickly that she didn't even have time to resist. The answer lay in front of him.

"Ah, you are."

She fought back the urge to deny the accusation and instead slowly nodded her head, removing her boundaries enough to let fear pour in through the bond.

Her attempt at casual behavior was only a facade to mask the underlying fear that she constantly tried to shove beneath the surface. Despite his assurance, she still did not trust him.

But, perhaps that was a good idea. He himself knew that at times, the only thing stopping him from taking what he wanted was sheer force of will and leaving the situation immediately. Otherwise, who knows what he might have done by now. Any gain of power or control had a way of rooting itself deep in his brain until it governed over his entire being. He would not let that happen. He would not let himself hurt her.

Not yet.

In time, she would come to him herself, ready to accept the power of the dark side and thus him. But, for now, he had to treat her tenderly, until she learned to have faith in him.

"Don't be," he said.

"Well maybe," Rey's spitfire temper was suddenly turned on, "if you had bothered to install a door in the bathroom or made it so you couldn't see directly into the shower from the doorway, I wouldn't _have_ a reason to doubt you."

Kylo cringed. Back when he made the order to forgo a door to the restroom, he had thought himself to be terribly clever. Now, he realized just how much of an idiot he was.

He thought about apologizing, but something else had captured his attention. Rey's anger was something that always managed to get the best of her. No matter how hard she tried to bottle up her emotions, her fury seemed to shine through. And, that fury might be the key to her conversion to the dark side. Rey was powerful. There was no denying that. However, her energy depleted too rapidly in training. The key to master her endurance in the Force was to unleash her emotions. And, seeing that rage was her most prominent, Kylo felt a need to take advantage of that.

"What's the angriest you've ever felt?" he asked, entirely changing the subject.

"What?"

"Just answer," he demanded. "Let it go."

Her eyes narrowed at him, "When you killed your father."

Kylo inhaled deeply. He probably should have expected that.

" _Or_ ," Rey continued, "Maybe it was when you kidnapped me… twice!" Her accent always grew stronger in her fury and she spit her words out like venom aimed directly at him.

Kylo tried to ignore them, noticing how the power surrounding her grew. Her teeth were bared and her eyes appeared to practically be on fire. The furniture in the bedroom began to shake with the intensity of the Force.

"Good. Let it flow through and control you," he pressed.

He was not sure when she had stood up, but Rey was now towering over him. Immediately, he rose up as well, not wanting to be overpowered. Her eyes were now flooded with tears and her hands were clenched in shaking fists. Time seemed frozen. Then, she let out a blood-curdling scream and the forgotten plates on the table shattered. For a second, the twisted Rey from his vision seemed to appear before his eyes.

Suddenly, the moment passed, and Rey started to sway. In a flash, he had caught her passed out form in strong, cradling arms. He carried her to the bed and gently lay her head on the pillow before pulling a blanket over her.

Her face looked so peaceful that it was almost comical to think of her expression from mere seconds ago. He sat there watching her until his eyes began to strain. He bent down and placed a hard yet adoring kiss on her forehead before leaving her to recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, them touching hands last chapter replaces them touching hands in TLJ. So, this story would have started a little before that in the movie.
> 
> Comments and kudos brighten my day so much and I legit squeal every time I get one! Thanks for any support you can give.


	8. Smear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I have no self control what-so-ever, so enjoy this new chapter, haha!
> 
> Also, something I super quickly wanted to clarify: The Reylo relationship in this story is NOT abusive. Kylo is just still dark side. 
> 
> But yeah ok that's it.

Kylo awoke in a daze. Or maybe he had already been awake. He seemed to be drifting in and out of stages of consciousness, lying atop silky sheets. He was vaguely aware of the warmth surrounding him, a radiance nearing the point of engulfment. It pressed onto his skin like a glowing beacon, threatening to suffocate and extinguish his dark resolve with a constant pull of light.

Sleepily, his eyes began to blink open and the reason for his heat became apparent. There was Rey, fast asleep, and practically sprawled on top of him. His mind became fully alert, brain going a mile a minute. He silently tried to recall how this had happened and why she was okay with it, but his thoughts came up blank. He looked back at her. Her brown hair was extremely messy - the bands that held her hair in their three neat buns had nearly fallen out. He couldn't see her face because she had buried it deep into his chest in almost a burrowing manner. One of her hands was clutching the thick black fabric of his tunic, enclosing it in her tight fist. Her whole body seemed to be stiff in a defensive position, trying to protect itself from something, even in her dreams.

He hoped with whatever heart he had left that he was not the cause of her apprehension.

Pushing as gently as possible, as to not add to her stress, he eased himself into her mind. To his relief, he was not the demon of her dreams. Instead, he was faced with a montage of images and memories from what appeared to be her childhood.

He knew she had grown up as an orphan scavenger on Jakku, but other than that, he had yet to delve into her history.

Rey stood, beating her staff at a dishonest Teedo as he tried to take a piece of her salvage. The picture dissolved and he saw her sprinting across sand dunes from a grown human man, not stopping until she had made it safely into her makeshift AT-AT home. He watched her, near death from starvation, trying to barter an extra half portion from a hideous creature named Unkar Plutt. Endless recollections of Rey imprinting dashes on her wall, trying to find purpose in her existence, flashed before his eyes.

The dreams that made her grasp onto him the tightest, though, were her memories of being alone at night, unable to sleep due to her yearning for human love and affection. Her longing to be touched and embraced.

He drew out of her mind, but not before his arms had reflexively wrapped themselves around her small frame.

Somewhere in his mind, he had known that she must have faced those kinds of things, living on her own in the desert. He was not oblivious to the tough conditions that most of the occupants of smaller worlds lived in.

His overwhelming need to protect her grew.

But, Rey was self sufficient and strong willed. Not only had she managed to survive, but she had done so while maintaining hope and an appearance of positivity. Through all of the trauma and tragedy that had controlled her life, she had never let the light inside her dim. His next realization hit him like a load of bricks.

The same strong will that had kept her alive would keep her from turning to the dark side. Despite the way her dark nature seemed to grow, her pure stubbornness would prevent her from turning completely. She refused to admit that there were parts of her that wanted nothing more than to submit to the anger and power and overwhelming temptation of the dark side.

Ben Solo had not been that strong. Ben had fled from his trials and tribulations, running straight into the arms of Snoke. He had openly welcomed Kylo Ren and the security that came with his strength.

But, it didn't have to be like that for Rey. Kylo was confident that Rey could be his while maintaining whatever trace of loyalty she felt towards the light side of the Force. She just had to come to terms with the fact that her current arrangement is how she would remain. By his side and in his arms, always. He would give her the love she had desperately craved for so long.

Suddenly, Rey sat up with such force that she almost propelled herself off the mattress. Her eyes widened once they jumped to Ben, who was now sitting up next to her in _her_ bed.

His eyes looked tired as he watched her warily. "Rey, I-"

" _You_ ," she growled as she glared daggers at him.

Before he had a chance to try and explain himself, Rey had launched herself off the bed. She darted across the room, scurried into the bathroom, and locked the door quickly behind her.

She froze. That door had _not_ been there yesterday. How he had managed to install an entire door while she slept, Rey had no idea. But it didn't change anything. She was still horribly mad at him for making her… well, horribly mad. She let out a frustrated growl that she was sure Kylo could hear in the next room over.

She had to control herself. After seeing what she was capable of through the embracement of her rage, she was scared to think of returning.

However, while she would not allow herself to snap, she _would_ make sure he knew how she felt.

She stomped angrily around the bathroom, doing nothing in particular. She opened drawers and cabinets only to slam them shut moments later. Finally, when she was just about out of noises to make, Rey decided to take advantage of the shower.

She deserved to relax after weeks of tediously cleaning herself with a washcloth and a bar of soap, trying to keep as much of her clothing on at a time as possible. She had been constantly expecting him to barge in without warning. But now, she had all the time in the world to do whatever she wanted _behind_ the security of a locked door.

Still obnoxiously pounding on the floor with each step, she made her way to the sonic shower controls. Rey had no idea what the buttons and levers attached to the piece of metal did, but she _did_ discover that every time one was pressed, an annoying array of loud beeps were projected through the refresher. Naturally, she pushed each one until the room sounded rather like BB-8. Then, she unceremoniously stripped off her clothes and stepped into the shower.

Kylo stood near the wall that split the bathroom from the bedroom. It was clear she was still upset with him, and she wanted him to know it. While he was amused by her actions, he _was_ curious to learn how she managed to make that much noise. Eventually, he heard the water of the shower start to run, and he backed off to sit down on an armchair.

His memories of the night before had flooded back to him as soon as he had seen the bathroom door. His muddled mind had never been the best at recalling things during the morning. After Rey had passed out, he had left the room and ordered a very frightened looking officer to put a door on her bathroom. _Immediately_.

Clearly not wanting to be in bad standing with Kylo Ren, the officer, Anisa, had followed his demands precisely. She reported back soon after with the news that the door could be installed whenever, on Kylo's command. He made a mental note to have someone promote the young woman for her promptness.

Refusing to let some random technician be alone with an unconscious Rey, Kylo had stayed to watch the entire placement of the door. The mechanic, who was clearly a bundle of nerves, fumbled along anxiously under the gaze of Kylo Ren. Sensing this, Kylo shifted away to observe Rey.

He had studied her breathing and the way her eyes twitched under her heavy lids. As the night wore on, he had sat down on the edge of her bed, telling himself that she wouldn't know. He somewhat remembered the worried tech bowing briskly before exiting the room. He hardly noticed. He was too entranced with memorizing the curves of Rey's face. The next thing Kylo knew, he had awoken with Rey cuddled up next to him.

He had experienced far worse nights, he decided with a chuckle.

Rey had been in the shower for a ridiculously long amount of time. And, as comical as he found her defiance, he could not pretend to be a patient man.

Rey, however, had a perfectly good reason to stay in the bathroom. She sat on the floor of the sonic, meditating as the water poured over her. This shower was a lot nicer than the makeshift one on Ahch-To. The one there had been incredibly small and the running water came from a simple line of piping from a nearby lake. Still, compared to her previous desert existence, both seemed unreal.

She calmed and allowed herself to submerge her soul in the presence of the Force. She would give Kylo a piece of her mind, but she would do so in a peaceful manner. As long as she didn't raise her voice, she wouldn't raise her temper.

Seconds later, the water abruptly stopped, running out as if on a timer. She probably _did_ set a timer in the midst of all the controls, she realized. All the same, she had already thoroughly thought through and prepared herself for her upcoming conversation.

Trying desperately to remain in a state of serenity, she dried off and replaced her clothes to their rightful place on her body. She spent extra time carefully wrapping grey scraps of fabric around her toned arms. The covering had originally been a necessary physical blockade from the sun. As time had gone on, though, she found that the tight coiling of the material brought her some form of comfort. So, even though she sat in a cold First Order base, far away from her life as a scavenger, Rey still opted to keep the arm bands.

Her hair was dripping streams of water down her shoulders and back when she exited the refresher. Unsurprisingly, Kylo was still in her room, sitting silently in an armchair. He looked up at her in a way that told her he was about to speak, but she gave him no time.

"You are an absolute moof-milker," she said, trying desperately to keep her voice free of anything resembling passion. "And I refuse to be tricked by you into turning to the dark."

Kylo's eyebrows raised at the term, but he said nothing. He was all too confident that she had learned it from his fath- Han Solo.

Not yet in need of a response from him, Rey continued, "You think that you can persuade me to give into my anger, but I have my emotions under control. And, if you think you can change that, then you are a blasterbrained Lurdo!"

Seeing Rey trying so desperately to keep her voice even and her muscles relaxed while cursing him out was making it harder and harder for Kylo to maintain his serious composure.

He stood up, careful to not drop the intensity of his gaze. As he drew nearer to her, he let his eyes drop down her body before returning to her face. "If you aren't angry right now, then why are your fists trembling like that?"

Rey looked down at her balled and shaking hands. "Hatukga," she muttered in Huttese.

This time, Kylo could not hold back the snorting scoff of a laugh that overcame his throat. It was clear that Rey was throwing out every cuss she had ever heard. Though it may have been his imagination, it almost looked like even Rey's mouth twitched upwards in a smile of her own. But, it was gone before he could comment.

Rey recovered her semblance of indifference by crossing her arms in front of her chest and sighing.

"Fine," said Ben, "But, you still have to train." He opened the door and gestured for her to exit the room. He couldn't help but enjoy the confused look she gave him as she passed. Rey had assumed he would fight her on this.

Together, they walked side-by-side down the long corridors in silence.

"Ben, th-" Rey could not finish her statement because she was interrupted by the arrival of a far too eager looking officer. All the same, after being deprived of basically all human interaction, she was excited to hear another person's voice.

The approaching worker wore her blonde hair in a low ponytail and held herself with an air of self respect. Kylo immediately recognized her as the efficient officer who had helped him last night.

"Commander Ren," Anisa began, barely glancing at Rey, "The package that you ordered last night has just arrived."

"What package?"

Anisa silently gulped, "The," she stole another look at Rey, "package from the planet of-"

"Right, yes, thank you," Kylo interjected hastily.

The woman held out a wooden box, and he took it quickly before continuing the walk to the training arena.

"What is it?" Rey asked.

Kylo paused and looked at her intently, "A present."

"For me?" Rey tried to hide the excitement in her voice. She was still mad at him and she didn't even care very much. It was just that she had never received a gift before.

"Yes."

Kylo opened the door to the training area that was used for combat. He took care to lock the door before handing the box to Rey. Slowly, she removed the heavy lid and lifted the object out.

"It- is it- it's my _lightsaber_!" she exclaimed. "How did you..."

"I ordered someone to retrieve it from Ahch-To." Rey didn't appear to be listening. She had ignited the blue blade and was now swinging it happily through the air, listening to it's hum. Considering Kylo had almost forgotten this command, he was quite pleased to see how much joy it brought her.

They, however, had work to do. He pulled out his own lightsaber and let it's crackling red limbs come alive. After only a couple weeks, Rey's battling skills had improved immensely, and he was glad to be able to use his own weapon once again.

She turned around with the laser still drawn and fixated her eyes on him. Her nose scrunched up and her bared teeth opened to release a noise that was as much a growl as it was a grunt. She lunged at him and their blades met in the middle, clashing against the other. Kylo slid away and countered with his lightsaber swinging down from high above his head. Rey, however, was too fast and had already begun to attack his other side before his lightsaber even hit the ground. He hurriedly turned around to meet her attack.

Something in Rey was different. A raw, unidentifiable emotion seeped through the bond as she continued her aggressive pursuit. She was near animalistic.

Kylo could not pretend that he didn't like this new side. He met her with just as much force, displaying a little more of his true skill than he usually allowed when fighting her.

She was able to handle herself.

All in one moment, she lowered herself and slid across the floor, lightsaber swinging wildly at his knees. He jumped out of the way just seconds before his legs would have been severed off. She wasn't fighting for practice, she was fighting to hurt and destroy. He grabbed her by her hair and yanked her to her feet, much rougher than he usually would have been.

"Ow!" Rey's scream echoed around the metal walls of the chamber, but her motions never faltered.

Their war became a constant parrying of attacks to no avail. They were too well matched and met the other's attempts with a thorough block, allowing no advantage to be had. The familiar thrum of their beams were cut short by the angry crash of meeting the other.

Seeing the standstill they appeared to be in, Rey backed away, panting hard with the blue light illuminating her face. They circled each other slowly, never losing an ounce of defensiveness. Neither spoke, instead choosing to stare into the eyes of their opponent, silently daring each other to move.

Rey took the bait.

She ran at him and swung down hard against his saber, twisting it so that it was held straight out to his side. Kylo could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she pressed against him. Something in him snapped. Whatever remaining control he had was gone. She was his and he intended to ensure that she knew it.

Hot, white passion clouded his vision as he backed away. Kylo's movements were no longer his own, his body now controlled solely by the dark side of the Force. His head swam and he seemed unable to create a coherent thought. He pounced on her, slashing down with speed and precision he had never known. Kylo Ren was only vaguely aware of when she miscalculated her counter by a mere moment and his lightsaber made contact.

Ben pulled away immediately, the drastic truth of his actions unveiling itself before him. Rey let out a piercing scream before doubling over on top of herself. Her lightsaber flew to the other side of the room as she fell over, hands clutching at something Ben couldn't quite see. He raced over to catch her, but she already lay shuddering on the cold metal floor.

He knelt down and swiftly pulled her body to him, ripping through her clothing to uncover the wound. The heat of his blade has already cauterized the wound, leaving barely any blood to drip down from the gash just below her slim ribcage.

His hands were shaking when he activated his comlink, "I need an emergency medical troop sent to Arena 3B, immediately." He was unable to mask the shudder in his voice.

"Ben," the voice that met his ears was so small he could barely hear it. All he could think to do was to grab her head and pull her closer to him.

That, however, only smeared the mess he had made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the kind of morbid cliffhanger, haha. Hope y'all liked my craziness and let me know what you think!
> 
> Also, just a note, Kylo did not hit Rey on purpose. This was purely supposed to be a training fight, and he did not intend to hurt her.
> 
> Ok that's it just wanted to clarify. Thanks for reading and please review/kudos!!


	9. Surrender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Sorry for a bit of a wait but I was on vacation. Also, this was like 17 pages, haha. Hope y'all enjoy!

Click. Clack. Click. Clack. Click. Clack. The noise was all Rey could focus on as she walked down the long pathway. To either side of her, everything was dark - only black, cold tile that stretched on for as far as she could see. Rey, however, didn't pay it any attention. Her eyes were locked on the force ahead of her, reclined on a massive throne that was somehow still dwarfed in comparison to him. His expression held no amusement, but neither did hers.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack. Click. Rey glanced down to see what the sound was. Her feet, she realized, were adorned with heels, higher than any she had seen in real life, let alone worn. They slapped against the blood red walkway, stepping onward without any hesitation. Rey expected to feel like she was falling, but her feet kept on carrying her, stable and balanced, as though they were familiar with the routine. The heels themselves were solid black with long, winding straps. The thin dark ties crisscrossed over the length of her legs, binding them, until finally knotting off just above her knees.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack. The rest of her body was dressed in a long, silky dress the color of coal. In the middle of the gown, just below where the fabric clung to her hips, two long slits trailed downwards. Her pale and coiled legs poked through the gaps of the cloth, leaving the flowy remainder to cascade around her. Higher up, her already slim waist was cinched ever farther with a delicate belt covered in glassy black stones.

Click. Clack. Click. The bodice was tight with thin sleeves and a low V that displayed far more cleavage than Rey ever permitted. But at the moment, she didn't care. It didn't matter. She looked to her arms and found a heavy splay of goosebumps. Her typical arm wraps had been replaced with bands of black leather. One circled her right bicep while it's companion surrounded her other arm's wrist. Rey returned her gaze straight ahead.

Click. Clack. Kylo was staring at her and she met his gaze head on. He was fidgeting slightly from what could be described as anticipation, but was more likely impatience. Rey continued her unchanging, steady pace, silently teasing him with her swaying hips and defiant eyes. It proved too much for him. He stood up with his hands clenched into fists, yet a look akin to satisfaction displayed on his face.

Click. Rey's last footstep fell, echoing around the airy chamber, but Kylo's arm had already hooked onto her waist, pulling her in. The air around them was electric, humming with power and heat.

His free hand grabbed her firmly by the jaw and angled her face to look straight into his. "Rey." His voice was so painfully low that she almost missed it.

Almost.

Rey shot her hands into his hair and crinkled her nose. Clutching his sleek locks, she violently pulled him down until their faces were mere centimeters apart. "What?" Rey hardly recognized the breathlessly stern and desperate voice as her own. But she didn't care, either. In this moment, only he mattered.

Their lips crashed together in a kiss that could only be described as aggressive. A perfect mixture of passion, anger, and unbridled need tore through them like a blaster bolt, somehow managing to encompass both of them at once.

There was no time for thinking or talking, only doing. Giving in to the urges and temptations that haunted the pair. Surrendering to the sensations. Consequences didn't matter; they never did. All that mattered was the feeling of being pressed up against the other, crushed by the weight of their all-consuming adoration.

Because they _did_ , Rey realized. She adored him just the same as he treasured her. In this reality, they just had an odd way of showing it. A strange way, but a good way. A _really_ good way at that.

Eyes closed, their chins rubbed together incessantly and their noses pressed together. Her brown hair was down, and he spent no time tangling his digits within it.

Their mouths separated, only for the stupid necessity of air. Their bodies, however, remained intertwined, pressed together like magnets, unable to break away. Panting, they studied each other's blazing faces. Their eyes scoured and scavenged, memorizing the slopes and planes and colors and freckles and anything else they came across.

The force between them was palpable. Buzzing. Swelling. Deep breaths were echoing through the chamber, and Rey was sure that her frantic heartbeat accompanied it. They burned like an active volcano, dangerous and raw until the intensity of the pressure finally became too much and they erupted.

Kylo's lips returned to hers, but only for a second before wandering across the length of her jaw. Rey's fingers made small circles over the flat surfaces of his fabric covered back and she couldn't help but marvel at how strong he was.

His gigantic hands found her thin waist and closed in around it, holding her steady. Satisfied with its work on her jaw, his mouth continued to the column of her neck, forcibly kissing. He paused in his descent to suck a deep red spot onto her silken skin.

Rey released a light, breathy whine, unsure of whether she was asking him to stop or continue.

Kylo abruptly released the torment of his suction only to vigorously bite down on the freshly made mark.

"Oi!" she squealed. Her light caresses turned into razor sharp scratches. She bared her teeth and viciously dug her fingernails into the nape of his exposed neck.

He growled menacingly into her ear before flipping her around and pulling her slim back into his broad chest. His leather clad hand snaked its way up her front and settled onto her neck, squeezing.

The pressure was minimal- more like a constant reminder of his power or a quiet threat of what could be. Rey's breath hitched, but she felt no fear. Her mind was intoxicated with pure lust.

His free hand eagerly kneaded and clawed at the rest of her body, claiming her as his own. Not that there was any question about that. Rey's spine arched into his endeavors, writhing helplessly against his hold on her throat.

A deep moan streamed from low in his chest and Rey was suddenly aware of something hard prodding the edge of her back. Her squirming efforts doubled, but she had no intention of breaking free. She rubbed against him wantonly, and, for the first time in her life, Rey felt the wonder of being blissfully uninhibited.

" _Kriff_ , Rey," he groaned, causing his grasp on her neck to tighten. His usually cold leather gloves had turned fiery with their shared fever of desire.

Rey's out of focus mind perked up and pushed him off of her with the Force. His grip released and she whipped around to face him. Kylo looked somewhere between shocked, bewildered, and intrigued as he landed on the throne with a resounding thud.

It was only then that Rey hesitated. What was she doing? How had this even happened? She was positive that this was a new occurrence, but everything about this encounter somehow seemed familiar. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. _He_ was supposed to turn and join _her_. Not the other way around.

She stared at him and decided she didn't care. He was as breathless as she was and his longing and craving were written out across his features. Whatever this turned out to be - dream, nightmare, fantasy, or reality - was fine, as long as she was with him.

With that thought in mind, she quickly approached his throne. It was as cold and intimidating as he was supposed to be, but she embraced it all the same. Their eyes were locked together in a sort of unbreakable trance as she tentatively placed her hands on his wide shoulders. She leaned into the sharp and jagged stone edge, legs bending at the knees, until she found herself on top of him.

Slowly, she seated herself onto his thighs. Her legs were now entirely uncovered from the slits in her dress and he ran his hands over them hungrily. Cautiously, Rey bent towards him and placed a tender peck upon his lips.

Eyes wide, his hands wrapped around her backside and pulled her closer to him, kissing her for all he was worth. Their tongues dove for each other, twisting and sliding until Rey wasn't sure where she ended and he began.

All of a sudden, Kylo stopped and broke away. He peered awingly at her, like he wasn't sure she could actually be real. That someone wanted him this much. His large hand reached out to gently stroke her cheek, leather fingers caressing and calming her.

Seemingly overcome with sentiment, he pulled her into a tight, engulfing hug, and Rey's arms instinctively wound around his neck, comforting him for reasons she may never fully understand. He was like broken porcelain, and she was the glue that held him together. They lived and thrived off of one another's power and energy.

Her nose dove into his hair, burrowing and inhaling deeply. His scent surrounded her and filled her in a musky embrace. Hands repeatedly tucked her own hair behind her ear, striving for closeness - for complete possession.

He leaned in, gripped her hips, and whispered gravelly in her ear, "You're mine."

Rey tried to respond, to show him the love he so desperately needed, to do _anything_ , but everything was gone. Streaks of lights whirled around her, like she was traveling through hyperspace without a spaceship. Then, everything faded out.

*******

"Sir, the remaining troops of a Resistance bombing mission have been discovered just outside the remote planet of Mocyr. Your attendance is necessary in order for us to send a fight squad down to launch an atmo attack."

"I'm busy," Kylo growled, barely throwing a look of disgust at the officer.

The officer, Odit, took a deep breath before continuing, "Sir, I understand that this may be a difficult time b-"

"Ren!" the sneer on Hux's face could be heard in his tone, "Supreme Leader has placed authority of the remote TIEs in _your_ hands. And here _you_ are, sulking over an injured scavenger." He spit out the last word with as much distaste as possible.

Kylo didn't respond right away. He took a deep breath. Looked around the sterile room he found himself in. Much too white for his taste.

Ren turned his person slowly, but could not disguise the shaking of his fists, "The survival of this scavenger is more important to the First Order than the destruction of the entire Resistance, let alone a small strike on _Mocyr_."

"Important to the First Order or important to your... _personal_ affairs?" Hux narrowed his eyes and arched one brow. "If she had been placed under my control, she would have been killed immediately. I should hope that this unnatural affection you seem to have for her is not something I'll have to report to Snoke."

Kylo stood up from the chair seated in the medbay, kicking it slightly as he confronted the redhead. "If the girl dies, then we have lost one of the last remaining Force users in the galaxy. The advantage that the First Order receives by holding her here alive is astronomical! Is that not important enough for you?" He was full on shouting by the end of his spiel.

Hux just glared on, standing there as impeccable as ever. He was honestly sick of hearing about the Force. "Well maybe - if this girl _does_ play the key role that you think her to - then, _maybe_ , you should have thought about that before slicing her in half with your bloody lightsaber!"

He was choking before he could even finish his thought, gasping for breath like a fish out of water. In truth, Hux had entirely expected the action, but seeing the look on Ren's face was worth it.

Hux, of course, was correct. But what was done was done and could not be reversed. By Maker, Kylo had tried.

Rey, at the moment, was submerged in a full body bacta tank, completely unconscious. He had refused to leave her side since the accident, and was more than irritated to be called back into the world of responsibility. Rey was stable. The bacta treatment was doing a sufficient job of maintaining her strength and removing any chance of infection. To Kylo's dismay, however, the physical wound was not healing. The wound that _he_ caused and the wound that _he_ would pay for.

He quite literally threw Hux out of the room before turning to the attendant on call. "If anything happens, _anything at all_ , I want it reported to me immediately."

"Yes, of course, commander," the nurse said hurriedly.

He now spun towards Officer Odit, "Prepare my ship. And make sure that Officer Anisa is on the list of onboard crew."

"Yes, sir, right away," Odit mumbled and scurried out of the bay.

The nurse, too, had found something to make herself busy with, avoiding contact with Kylo at all costs. Who could blame them? He was a monster.

He looked back to Rey. Small, alone. He absolutely hated himself.

The bacta tank was the nicest, most technologically advanced piece of medical equipment ever created. He was sure that the Resistance couldn't have one of even half this quality. But it wasn't working.

Why. Wasn't. It. Working?

Her damaged body sat motionless, surrounded by the sticky substance. Her eyes were closed and Kylo could hardly feel her - usually radiant - presence in the Force. A single tear rolled halfway down his cheek before he angrily swiped it away, pawing at it like he was trying to slap away his weaknesses.

But _she_ was his weakness.

He kicked his abandoned chair over fully before exiting the chamber in a newly formed fit of rage. The Resistance would pay for this distraction. He could at least make sure of that.

*******

The darkness turned to light in the blink of an eye, like someone flipped a switch. What had just happened? What was happening?

The light was muffled, blocked so that it appeared as a shining red. Then, her eyes opened. She blinked quickly as the picture in front of her slowly became clear. The place surrounding her was familiar, though she was sure she had never been there before.

Trees surrounded her, stretching upwards until their leaves were tickling the sky. Everything was green, yet different from the current Resistance base on D'Qar. Or maybe they had abandoned that base. Rey had no way of knowing the current standing of her friends.

General Organa had given her a tracking beacon immediately preceding her departure to Ahch-To, so that she could find her way back. When Rey had seen Kylo's ships coming for her, however, she had quickly buried it. In the wrong hands, the bracelet served as a direct map to the final destruction of the Resistance. Now Rey was stuck as well.

But where exactly was she stuck?

She stared up into the bright blue sky that was beaming down on her. Everything here seemed so peaceful. So easy. A gentle breeze blew past her, ruffling her clothes. She glanced down to her appearance. The style of the garments was nearly indistinguishable from her classic desert garb that she had worn for so much of her life. The only difference was that these were white. Very white. Almost _virginally_ white. Definitely not practical for… well, anywhere. But _certainly_ not practical for her usual daily routine.

Her hands ventured upwards to feel the top of her head, only to find that her hair had returned to their typical three buns. Altogether, she looked just about as different from her previous form as physically possible. A polar opposite to whatever she had just come from.

The delicious darkness that suddenly flooded her memory felt like a dream, but the tingling heat that remained deep inside of her claimed otherwise. That _had_ to have been real. She refused to believe that her imagination could have independently conceived the concept.

But to say that it was real also meant admitting her overwhelming willingness in regards to the whole situation. And that might be worse to confess.

But then what was _this_?

A twig snapped, jerking her out of her stunned reverie. There, in the distance, stood… _him_.

He was dressed in brown pants, a white shirt, and a leather jacket that, if Rey didn't know any better, she would have swore belonged to Han Solo.

The air surrounding Rey seemed to come to a standstill before being sucked out of the atmosphere entirely. Everything was perfectly still, perfectly quiet. That is, until Rey started sprinting towards him, full speed. She couldn't help it. She was drawn to him in the same inexplicable way as before. Like the galaxy depended on her reaching him.

This time, however, he ran towards her as well, cutting the distance in half, desperate to meet in the middle. Dead leaves crunched and crashed under the frantic frenzy of their feet until they themselves collided.

Instincts kicked in and they deeply embraced, firm and secure. Arms wrapped around the other, but nothing more, simply clinging to each other like they were their last hope. Maybe they were.

Wait. _What_?

Rey's brain kicked in and swatted her instincts away. Unwinding her grasp, she pressed a pint-sized hand to his ample chest, pushing them apart.

"Rey?" his voice was concerned, caring.

"Wh-what's going on?" She couldn't bring herself to look at him, instead staring unyieldingly at the ground.

"What?" This was the calmest she had ever heard his deep voice.

"W- I- How? How is this happening? _Where are we_?" she pulled away fully and began pacing irrationally, drifting from side to side.

"Sweetheart," he began, not quite a question but also not a clear statement.

He never got to finish his thought.

Rey whipped her head around and forced herself to stare directly into his dark eyes. "What did you just call me?" she demanded.

His poor eyes grew wide with utter confusion.

Never, never, _never_ in a million light-years did Rey _ever_ imagine Kylo Ren being able to call her or anyone sweetheart. It seemed to go against his very nature, so how had it just slipped off his tongue like the most natural thing in the world?

Oh. _Oh_!

"Ben?" her glare softened into a calm bliss and her voice came out almost timidly, afraid to believe what was being revealed to her.

And then, he _smiled_. A genuine smile, wider than any she had ever seen. And that included her own, which, in and of itself, was a sight to behold.

This expression was even different from the other rare grin he had given her weeks ago. Back then, she had seen a crack in the mask of Kylo Ren, a hint of what could be. This time, there was no doubting it. This _was_ Ben Solo.

A countenance of pure, cheerful joy beamed from her features as she tentatively reached her hand out to caress the side of his face, framing it. Her eyes eagerly studied his skin, his hair, everything about him in a new light. The way his cheeks wrinkled in his happiness. The way his eyes held a twinkle that she had never noticed before. The way his messy hair blew wildly in the breeze.

Rey couldn't help the raw emotions that bubbled to the surface. Tears of unfiltered relief and infatuation flooded her eyes as she flung her arms around his back. Pressed onto tiptoes, she cried unendingly into his shoulder.

And he just sat and comforted her, not even knowing what was wrong. Not needing to know. Just wanting to be with _her_ , no matter the price.

Finally, she pulled away, sniffling shakily. His big, rough thumbs brushed under her eyes, wiping away the remnants of her meltdown.

Only after she had completely regained her composure did he advance his inquiries, "So... What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. I'm just so happy to see you," she whispered awingly.

He grinned again and grabbed her hand with his, turning to walk through the thick trees of the forest.

Distantly, somewhere in the deep crevices of her brain, she was aware that this was not real. Her subconscious was vaguely trying to remind her that this, like her previous - _darker_ \- encounter with him, was nothing more than a dream, or maybe a vision.

But she also did not care.

She enthusiastically grasped onto his large palm, periodically squeezing it with glee. "So, where are we?"

"The jungle planet of Eersia."

"And why are we here?"

"My mother sent us on a mission to stake out hospitable planets for potential Resistance bases."

" _Really_?" Rey did not try to hide the overflowing excitement in her voice. She had entirely silenced the voice of doubt lingering in the back of her mind.

Ben chuckled lightly, " _Yes_ … Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect," she beamed, accented voice boarderlining on giddy. Their clasped hands swung back and forth between them and her grip tightened ever so slightly.

"So does this planet look hospitable?" she asked.

"Well, we'll need to find at least three bodies of clear, running water before we can declare that officially. But, yeah, I think so."

"What system is th-"

It was in this precise, quintessential moment of happiness that nature decided to turn against her. The toe of her brown boot somehow found itself lodged into the elevated section of a tree root and, before she could stop herself, she was falling forward, and face planting onto the ground.

Except she didn't.

Instead, she found herself quite literally swept off her feet by a pair of powerful arms.

"Oi!" she squealed as Ben held her tight to him, cradling her like she was weightless.

Her own arms found their reserved spots along the muscular slopes of his back.

"Are you okay?" Ben asked. His question was serious, but his face was somewhat crinkled in amusement.

Rey huffed, "I'm fine… Just… umm... clumsy."

Midway through her sentence, Rey had _unintentionally_ glanced down to his lips and became _unintentionally_ utterly distracted with them. Distracted and mesmerized. And hopeful that she might steal something from them.

Because this was Ben. _Her_ Ben.

She started to lean in, eyes fixed on his mouth, when suddenly, he started to walk again.

Roused from her daydream, she shouted at him, slightly piqued, "Hey! What are you doing? I said I was fine and I can sure as heck still _walk_!"

She was well aware of how overly angry she was with him, and that her reaction was unjustified. And it wasn't that she meant to be mean or anything. She was overjoyed that he was being so sweet. So gentle. So caring.

But maybe she wanted him to be a little more... _something_. And this wasn't her trying to keep her thoughts decent. She truly had no idea what she was striving to achieve. She just wanted _more_.

In truth, Ben didn't really listen to her complaints. Instead he replied, "Please? I like carrying you." And sealed the statement with a butterlike kiss on her forehead. Warm, plush lips spread onto her smooth skin, somehow managing to promise love, security, and happiness all in one.

It shut her up pretty thoroughly.

As he continued strolling along, Rey lost herself in the constant rhythm of his footsteps, the constant beat of his heart, the constant heave of his breaths that brushed against her skin like warm pecks. She simultaneously lost _and_ found herself in _him_. Ben Solo.

She nestled closer into him, leaning her head against his chest. Everything was so cozy, so snug, so nice. She felt her eyelids droop shut. She didn't mind. She could stay here forever, blissfully ignoring reality.

Just before she gave in entirely to the peaceful pull of sleep, Ben leaned down, nuzzled her ear lovingly, and whispered, "I'm yours."

No sooner had the words been uttered, than Ben, along with everything else, was ripped away, disappearing from her grasp entirely, leaving her empty and abandoned. Alone. And then she was falling again, plummeting into a deep void of nothingness.

*******

"Sir, the Resistance bombers are preparing an attack, but readouts show that their ammunition supply is critically low," Officer Anisa chattered anxiously. Her fingers nervously fiddled with the ends of her blonde ponytail.

"So prepare an offensive fight squad. Fire the atmo before they get the chance to escape." Kylo sounded bored. Zoned out. Disinterested.

He started to stalk off, but Anisa followed, scurrying to keep up with his long strides. "But sir, it seems that this particular troop has somehow managed to install a helonydruxer."

Kylo stopped dead in his tracks.

"A helonyd- … _how_?"

"It appears th-"

"Never mind. It doesn't matter," he paused and turned to look at the young officer. "So you're saying that any initial attack from us will end in disaster."

"It would be a suicide mission, sir," she nodded.

Kylo rotated a stationed lieutenant's infocomp screen. Anisa had been correct in her evaluation of the Resistance's lacking supplies.

But the helonydruxer took him by surprise. That was new tech even for the First Order and only a select few of their ships were loaded with one. So how the Resistance, who seemed to be made of nothing more than pulled together scraps, got one was beyond him.

The concept of the machine was simple: redirect the concentration of an enemy's assault back on the enemy. The problem lay in the design. It served as almost an advanced shield. A hard to find, very complicated, and _expensive_ shield. And a small one.

At the heart of the helonydruxer lay a multiplex of extremely rare pennantia plants. These were sparse and could only be found on certain planets. Only recently were their protective and repellent features discovered.

Anisa's scanner had shown an extreme influx of condensed pennatia in the direction of the Resistance.

Kylo's brow furrowed in thought.

Even after harvesting the power of the plants, they were dangerous to work with. This left barely any engineers willing to put up with the risky occupation.

Beyond that lay the problem in size.

The most surface area the helonydruxer was able to cover was roughly the size of a small fleet. This left it as a great asset to the Resistance's cruisers, but not for the hulking First Order craft. That was not supposed to be a problem, however, because the Resistance was never supposed to have the funds to obtain one.

So how did they get one? And why did they bring it aboard a random bomber for a nonessential mission?

A group of six bombers and a small command ship huddled together, protected by the powerful bubble.

Kylo returned his attention to Anisa, "We need to wait for them to attack us first. They'll do far more damage from the reflection of the helondruxer than if they get a few hits on us."

When the ships holding the shield attacked, the druxer would lower for approximately thirty seconds. This would give the First Order canons enough time to destroy them.

But only after they attacked, and they showed no signs of trying.

But the Resistance was also trapped. Ren's bulky vessels had almost fully surrounded the rebels at this point, caging them in against Mocyr. Any attempt at escape was pointless.

And now, all Kylo had to do was _wait_.

*******

The warm sand under her feet was the first thing Rey noticed when she reappeared into yet another reality. She was over it at this point. The Force had handed her many visions, but never like this. Never so long, so unbreakable, so _real_.

Wind whipped past her, making her eyes water, and assaulting her nose with the undeniable scent of salt and seawater.

The sand was like a massage - uncharacteristically soft and smooth beneath the gentle pads of her feet.

A quick glance behind her shoulder told her exactly where she was. Ahch-To. Or at least somewhere that looked like Ahch-To. Like a mirror image. An exact reflection, but still somehow reversed, imperfect. Enough minor mistakes in details to remind Rey that none of this was real. Probably.

She remained in her innocent white garb, but it now took the form of a flowy gown. It blew recklessly in the breeze that surrounded her, whipping its tails this way and that.

Somewhere in her unconscious state, her muddled mind had scraped together enough brain power to remember what was happening.

She was dying.

There was no denying it. Her body was dying and the Force felt that _now_ was a good time to terrorize her brain with visions. With beautiful, terrible, wonderful, awful visions.

Rey could recall the fight. The raw and intense passion. Emotions that she had never known, bubbling straight to her surface. Feelings for _him_.

And somehow, in the confusion, in the focus, they got lost. That was the last thing she could visualize, but the rest of the pieces could be assumed quite easily.

And now she was trapped in an endless cycle of good and evil; light and dark.

Rey didn't mind.

Before her lay the sea, calm and peaceful, beckoning for her to graze the surface.

In all of her years and even during her training here with Master Luke, Rey had never learned to swim. There had never been an opportunity. In her dessert existence on Jakku, water had been so scarce that it was a challenge to drink enough to keep herself alive, let alone submerge herself in it. Rey wasn't sure she would ever get used to the surplus of it in other areas.

Nevertheless, the ocean in front of her was almost too welcoming and too inviting to ignore.

She crept down slopes of dunes to the water's edge. Lines of small footprints followed her movements incessantly. The sand beneath her feet became squishy, the color slowly merging from the bright, light land above to the darker and deeper depths below.

Tentatively, she crouched down, letting the loose hanging fabric of her clothes drag in the tempting waters. She reached out a hesitant hand and swished it through the shallow turquoise, letting its cool and choppy fingers entwine with her own.

The wind suddenly began to pick up, whirling in her ears and pulling at her hair. She stood up, eyes directed to the sky above. Dark, ominous clouds had gathered above the sea, threatening to release its fury at any moment.

Something deep inside her began mimicking the twists and turns and spirals of the heavens overhead. And she thrived off of it. The energy and power surrounding her exceeded anything she had ever known before.

"Rey."

Her neck snapped down with such force that her chin slammed into her chest.

"Kylo," she breathed his name like a whisper. Like a prayer. She stood.

A step forward.

The once clear blue waters around her had turned tumultuous and muddy. The hungry tongues of waves lapped at her ankles, causing her to shiver. The ocean was cold, bitterly so. Like spikes being driven into her bare feet. She wanted to turn back. To retreat to the promised safety of warm, dry sand.

Another step forward.

He stood like a tower before her, stoic on a massive, jagged rock. And the rock looked so close. Like maybe if she just powered through, she could reach it.

He extended his gloved hand, slowly, and a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold shot through her.

His hands. His gloves. His… _mask_?

Rey could at least remember that Kylo promised to never wear his mask in front of her again. Hadn't she kissed him for that? It was fine. She would just take it off when she reached him.

She wanted to feel his face, his hair, his skin. Velvety and silky and imperfect and _hers_.

Another step forward.

Every new inch of exposed leg stung horribly, but her feet and ankles had already turned numb. Blissfully, ignorantly numb. She swayed at the loss of feeling.

Her long dress flowed through the water beside her, drenched. She glanced at it. It could have been her imagination, but the color looked ever so slightly darker. The lightest grey ever made.

"Come to me."

His voice was low and creamy. It called to her, echoing from across the violent glass waters.

Another step forward.

Her feet were moving faster now, fumbling over each other like she was not actually in control of them. She was wandering like a lost child, like the helpless girl left on Jakku so many years ago.

The once vibrant gown was now clinging to her clammy skin, a neutral shade of grey. The vicious breeze circled her, entangled its cold, ghostly fingers within the strands of her hair, and began to undo her orderly buns.

"Rey."

He spoke her name like it was sacred and it did something to her. Made her feel at home. Made _this_ feel right.

His presence was everywhere. He was the wind and the sea and the sky. He was the sand below and the stars above. He enveloped her person - harsh and gentle, hungry and caring.

Kylo was a constant shadow in her mind, beckoning her to him.

Several steps forward.

The water was at her mid thigh now, but her trance encaptured brain hardly noticed. She would follow him to the ends of the earth.

Sharp shells and rocks were now slashing through her feet, tearing her skin to shreds.

Her leg suddenly sank into a pit of particularly mushy sand, jolting her from her reverie. Her ankle twisted and she turned to look over her shoulder, no longer paralyzed by Ren.

Something, _someone_ , had arrived on the shore that she had just departed from. Her dress turned a shade lighter.

"Turn away from the heartless lies that the light tries to flaunt. Listen to my voice. Listen to the _darkness_. It's calling to you. Embrace it, Rey. Please." Kylo sounded desperate, almost sweet.

Just like that, Rey spun around to face him once more.

"No!"

This is wrong. She was supposed to be a spark of light and hope for the Resistance. A Jedi. Not a puppet for Kylo Ren or Snoke or the First Order or anyone else for that matter.

But it was too late. Her feet were swept up by an uncovered undercurrent. The water swelled to just below her chest now, but she fought back.

The ocean was tempestuous, and she met it with an unmatched ferocity. She flailed her arms, angrily kicked her legs, called out to the Force. But her attempts were in vain and she was met with utter silence.

"Close your eyes, Rey. _Surrender_ to the dark. Surrender to _me_."

And Maker help her, she wanted to.

Instead, she hissed out through clenched teeth, "Never."

Her chest was underwater now and her lungs hurt terribly.

His rock - his _damn_ rock - was still so far away. She was never meant to reach it at all. This was a test, and, depending on who's point of view she looked at it from, she could have passed or failed.

The flame that was her light dwindled and blew out as the waves swarmed her shoulders. It was over.

"Rey!"

It was the same voice, yet somehow entirely different. Without even needing to look back, she knew who it was. The figure on the beach. Ben.

If Kylo Ren and Ben Solo were two sides of the same coin, then she was the rim, the part bonding them together, stuck between them in their constant battle for dominance.

The feelings and emotions that Rey had refused to acknowledge or even think about came surging into her head.

She had _fallen in love_ with two people; she had fallen in love with two sides; she had fallen in love in the midst of a war. Her foe and her confidant, her phantom and her friend, her demon and her angel, her enemy and her beloved. They were each other's destinies, written into the stars from the dawn of time.

They _were_ each other's last hopes.

Him, the son of a princess - of _royalty_ \- was destined to be with her, an abandoned orphan scavenger. He held a legacy, but she only had herself.

The irony of the Force was unending.

Rich and poor. Light and dark. For better or for worse.

A perfect paradox.

The Force pushed together two opposites, binding them in a way that only it could, striving to unite them. Striving to create a _balance_. And it was hopeless to resist the desires of the Force.

Hope. The word bounced around against her skull as the waves licked her chin, kissed her cheeks. She was struggling to stay upright. To not give into the currents. Hope was such a beautiful word. So simple, but it held the power to save galaxies.

She was drowning now. Their was no doubting it. This was how her brain met its end, while her physical body died elsewhere. Surrounded by the constant taunting of the Force. Of what could be if she could just find the will to survive.

The grey shade of her dress was so, so dark. Hardly distinguishable from black.

Her arms were flapping recklessly through the water, splashing helplessly in a panic. Her head fell under, pulled into the icy depths that tormented her. She jumped with all her might and gathered a single gulp of air. A single breath is all she had left to live.

So, reaching out with the rest of her energy, she lifted her head as high as her pool of restraints allowed, and shouted out the only thing that could save her now. The only thing that she _wanted_ to be drowning in.

"Ben!"

And somewhere, stuck in a bacta tank within the claws of the sterile First Order, Rey's limp form echoed the same desperate plea. Like a whisper. Like a prayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I feel a need to clarify something:  
> I struggled a lot with this chapter and whether it jumped into Rey having feelings too quickly. But, I wanted it to feel like her emotions crept up on her. Kinda like a Clueless moment (Oh my god! I love Josh! I'm majorly, totally, butt crazy in love with Josh!) where she is just suddenly hit with a whole whirlwind of feelings.   
> That being said, she has only just begun to recognize her emotions for him, and they still have a lot to work through. They are definitely still in the thick of things, but now Rey is aware of what her mind (and the Force) want. 
> 
> I had a fun time pretending I knew anything about mechanics (wth is a helondruxer) :P
> 
> Also the very last part may or may not have very slight Phantom of the Opera inspiration but hey that's my fault for listening to the soundtrack while writing, haha.
> 
> Ok thanks for reading!! And please leave a review/kudos to let me know what you think! They make my day and motivate me to write faster, lol.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are super appreciated!!


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